TITLE: 5/5 Original title goes with the story very well.
COVER: 5/5 The cover has a beautiful fanart and although I like the font it is a bit hard so see.
DESCRIPTION: 10/10 Okay, the description is a strong quote that captures the obsessive personality of the main character, Jungkook.
PLOT: 19/20 I'm curious whether you translated sentence by sentence or you wrote your own story using another's plot as a guide?Even though you gave credit to the writer, you did not give the writer's name or say if you got their permission. I would try to do that to not cause offense.
The plot is clever and memorable. Thank you for sharing your lovely book.
WRITING STYLE: 9/10 The writing style captures the setting in a poetic style. I liked that you didn't use 2nd or 1st person pov, that way we can know what Jungkook and the other characters are seeing and feeling in a more natural style as told by the narrator.
DIALOGUE: 9/10 The dialogue is natural and makes sense.
DICTION: 7/10 Your choice of words and sentence structure is good for a nonnative speaker. Try not to overuse adverbs. Instead of "I haven't decided anything firmly yet." It's perfectly fine to say, "I haven't decided anything yet," or "I haven't decided."
Also, I would say this differently. Instead of 'shouted a voice from their backs. It is more common to say, "shouted a voice behind them." (chapter 3)
I want to add that an orb is a sphere or circle. It sounds better to say eyes when that is what you really mean.
GRAMMAR: 9/10 Very good except from some sentence structure problems.
AESTHETIC: 8/10 I would have preferred to see chapter titles instead of just numbers. I really like the bolded quotes you chose. They give a deeper meaning to the chapters. I think it looks more aesthetic to put the picutes at the top instead of the end of the chapter. The pictures you chose for Jungkook make him look mysterious, sexy and kind of evil. lol
ORIGINALITY AND APPEAL: 8/10 Your very descriptive style is intoxicating and your strong characters are what make your mysterious story come to life on the page. One thing I would advise, since you gave Y/N a name starting with chapter 6, is to go back and fix the earlier chapters. It would make your story stronger and more appealing. I love the name Hazel. It sounds beautiful and delicate.
