Driving Me Crazy

Chapter 10

I wake up the next morning with a huge smile on my face.  I knew I would knock everyone's socks off with my dress but I truly cashed in my golden ticket on Shawn's reaction.  I don't think he was aware that my brother was watching him like a hawk last night so when James told me about Niall breaking the glass and Shawn basically drooling over me, I couldn't help but laugh out loud.  In a weird turn of events though, internally I was screaming like a school girl!  I have been waiting to get that kind of reaction out of Shawn Mendes for years.

After showering and putting on a white crop top and denim shorts I head downstairs for breakfast.  I plan to spend the day at the track again.  James has a meeting with his pit crew.  They are all like brothers to me as well and I'm sure when they find out about Shawn and last night, I'll have 12 over protective brothers instead of just one.

"Good morning sweetie." My mom says handing me a cup of coffee.  "Ah thank you mom! How did you know?" I ask.  My head is pounding a little from the drinks I had last night.  Of course my weapon of choice is tequila and poor Niall tried to out drink me to win another shot to dance with Emma.  Of course I won, but Emma danced with him anyway out of pity so as not to bruise the poor boys ego.

"I had a feeling you might need it after you outdrank that poor Niall boy." She giggled.  "Thanks mami!" I groan giving her a hug.  She also hands me an omelet and some ibuprofen.  "Eat and take these baby.  I'm going to the track with your father now to get some things done.  See you there later?"

"Sí mami!" I smile as I give her a kiss on the cheek and run and give my dad a hug and kiss.

They leave and James follows closely behind, but not before he comes and drinks half my coffee and takes a few bites of my omelet.  "Hey! Mine!" I pout as I slap his hands away.  He simply just laughs and kisses my forehead as he shoots me a look as he walks out the door.  "What's the look for brother?" I question.  "It's nothing sis, just....be careful with Mendes...you know I saw you last night, I just don't want him to hurt you again, and I'd really like to stay out of jail so....just be careful." He states matter of factly, giving me one last half serious look as he leaves also.

Flashback

To be honest, something else happened last night I was not planning or expecting at all.  After we were done dancing, Shawn took my hand and we walked out to the balcony overlooking my backyard just off the room where the banquet was being held.  As he led me outside, shivers raced down my spine.  I was about to be very alone with Shawn Mendes.

He let go of my hand and I felt the loss also immediately once we got to lean on the railing.  I think he felt it too because I watched his hand reach out but at the last minute swerve and land on the railing.

What is happening?

"Is there a reason you brought me out here Shawn?" I ask looking down at one of our beautiful gardens as I wait for his response.

"Yes." He says simply.  "I guess, before we get all drunk and forget this night even happened and my mind can't form the words, I want you to let me apologize to you."

"You've done that already Shawn.  No need to beat a dead horse." I sigh looking back up at him.

Walking a few steps closer to me, he turns me to face him.

"I'm not talking about the other day Camila.  I'm talking about the apology that's way overdue." He says seriously running his fingers through his hair. I've picked up this is a nervous tick of his, but I also find it kind of cute that our proximity to each other makes him squirm a little.

"Shawn....I don't know if I want to hear this.  I don't really want to go back to that day.  I still have flashbacks which is why this is so hard for me right now.  I don't know if I trust you enough yet to believe whatever might come out of your mouth." I say.  Taking a deep breath I continue "But I'm willing to hear you out." I offer him a weak smile.  The moonlight bouncing gently off his face makes notice of the single tear slowly tracing his face as it falls.  My heart gets weaker for a minute.  Holy shit, he's actually going to really apologize.  I've never seen Shawn emotional so I don't quite know how to take this.

Taking my hands in his lightly, he begins to speak. "Camila, I know that sorry will never be enough and I could give you every excuse in the book for that night, but I know that's not going to change what happened.  You literally caught me with my pants around my ankles on a night that was supposed to be just us." Looking down at me, his golden eyes bore into mine.  "You have to know that as much as my playboy ways have run my life the past few years, I've never stopped thinking about that night and how royally I fucked up."  He looks down like he's ashamed, which he should be, but none the less he continues.  "I need you to know that everything that has happened between you and me since that night has been my sad, pathetic excuse to try and win you back.  I underestimated you and your strength and independence and I won't ever do that again." 

Looking back up at me, he takes a couple more steps closer.  If I didn't know any better I would think he was going to reach down and kiss me for the second time tonight; but he doesn't and I internally breathe a sigh of relief.   "I'm so sorry Camila.  I am so sorry!" He whispers.  I can see more tears start to stream down his face and I'm taken aback by his reaction that without even thinking I reach up and wipe some of his tears.  He turns away again.

"Shawn..." I say quietly.   No response

"Shawn....look at me." I say gently.  With that he turns to face me again. I squeeze our still connected hands "I accept your apology.  It takes a lot of courage to do what you just did and although I'm not 100% sold on you changing your ways...this Shawn standing in front of me is the one I met at the racetrack all those years ago.  The one I fought so hard with to not want as my friend, the one that I wish you were more often because if you were this Shawn; vulnerable, honest, humble...who knows where we'd be right now....  I can forgive you for that night because in all honesty I don't think we would have been good for each other then.  Doesn't mean it still didn't hurt, but I'm willing to accept your apology and move past this." I smile at him reassuringly.

He manages to smile back. "Do you think we could maybe...possibly work on being friends again?" He asks sincerely.

Letting out a sigh...I take a few moments to think things through...is this what I really want.  Who am I kidding? Sure it is....he's hard to avoid and he literally just poured his soul out to me.

"I think that can be arranged." I smile up at him.

His face lights up like a damn Christmas tree and in a move I was not expecting, he grabs me in hug. I'm surprised at the sudden contact, but being chest to chest with him feeling his heart beating as fast as mine, I instantly let my guard down and enjoy the warmth of being in his arms.

Pulling away, I feel his lips lightly brush my forehead.  "Thank you Camila." He says sweetly.

Current Day

As I shake the thoughts of last night, I can't help but wonder why it was so easy for me to let him in.  I mean...not in a sense that I'm ready for anything but a maybe friendship, but what part of me just automatically shifted gears and let him do what he did?

Huffing out loud in mock frustration I grab my bag, keys and a water and head to my car.  It's going to be a long day at the track today and it's my first official day at the "office." 

I'm excited but also nervous...not so much nervous about my job...but nervous about seeing Shawn.

I'm nervous because what if last night was all just a joke to him?  But at the same time, what if he really meant all of it....

I guess I'll find out one way or another, I think to myself as I close and lock up before driving to the track.