Driving Me Crazy

Chapter 65

Camila has been gone almost a week and a half now and I miss her more than I thought I would. I love that we still talk on the phone and the phone sex, while nothing compared to having her in my bed; has been nothing short of amazing.

Every time I see her on FaceTime or see her Instagram posts, she just seems so much happier; freer and I'm so in love with the fact that she is taking care of herself and doing something for her. I think she realized she needed this more than I did, but now that she's taking the time for herself, I can see too that she really needed it. She'd spent so much time at my bedside, going places and doing things for me after my accident, it really didn't hit me just how much she'd done for me until now. Having this time alone, although hard, has been eye opening for me as well. I've used this time with her away to work on myself as well and I know she'll appreciate that.

While she's been away, at her request, I've been helping James and Becca with their wedding planning. The big day for them is coming up and as much as a winter wedding is not something I could picture myself having; Becca has a heck of a vision and James just goes along for the ride because marrying the love of his life matters more to him than how the venue looks or how many people attend the reception.

I've been helping with menu and cake tastings and going with James for tux fittings. The other day I went with them as they finalized plans for the venue. Getting to do all this planning with them has made me all the more excited and anxious for when it's Camila and I's turn. I know me proposing is a little ways off, and that's another thing we have to discuss now that we've gotten back together, but like I've said; Camila Cabello is it for me. She's perfect and I can't wait to marry her one day.

Since Camila and I have made up, James has been keeping me in check again, making sure I don't mess up like I have so many times before. Knowing he's around has been a huge relief for me. In return, I've been someone that he goes to for support and some brotherly love. With everything going on with Mario, more dirt keeps surfacing and now James and Sinu are getting to the point where it's too much. The lies, the deceit, the lack of sympathy that man has is unbelievable. Like I told Camila the other day when we talked after I went to see him in jail, he's never going to change and we just need to live our lives. Mario tried to spin some story that Camila was going to Tulum to find a new "boy toy," and while I'd normally lose my cool over something like that; I didn't so much as react because I know where Camila is and what's she's doing. We love each other and we are going to fight for each other to make this thing between us work. I don't want anyone else. For me, it's always been Camila. It might have taken a few dozen speed bumps before I got to where I am now; but now that I have her, I'm never letting her go.

When we get back from our trip, the plan is to get her back on the track and working full time again. Along with that comes my return to the track. I haven't stepped foot on a racetrack since my accident and the thought of it happening sooner rather than later is both exciting and completely terrifying. I haven't talked to Camila much about it, but I know that I need to. We are a team, and I've learned my lesson about making big decisions without her.

Never again.

Currently I'm at Niall and Emma's house watching football with Niall as Emma works on something on her laptop. Niall asked Emma to move in with him shortly after the party and she of course said yes. Niall and I have talked about getting engaged around the same time. Getting to share those moments with him and our girls is a dream and it would be amazing for Camila to have her best friend to share this with.

Connor has been playing the single card for a long time, but one night he was near me when I was talking to Camila and Bella. To say that boy was smitten at first sight is an understatement. Sadly, he found out that Bella has a boyfriend back in New York. What he doesn't know is I have a plan for my cousin Kayla to come visit next week. At the party Connor seemed enchanted by her, so we'll see what happens.