Driving Me Crazy

Chapter 16

There's blood.  So much blood.  The flight nurses are covered in it, I'm covered in it.  Shawn's blood is everywhere.  I'm holding on to a now lifeless hand and all I can do is stare into the distance.  We are less than two minutes from the hospital, but the bar in his leg somehow got bumped and his leg is gushing blood again.  They are doing everything they can to stabilize him.

His body starts convulsing and his hand violently shakes out of mine.  The nurses are yelling at each other, but I can't hear or see anything..  I have blinders on.  Blinders on to the fact that the boy I secretly like is dying in front of me.  I feel myself go numb, my own blood run cold. 

I feel so small.  Smaller than I ever have...I'm praying to a God I'm not sure I believe in anymore that this is just a bad dream.  This is just so sick twist of fate, and someone's pulling my puppet strings.

Someone wake me up from this nightmare

I hear a loud thud and I'm jolted to an almost standing position as the helicopter lands on top of the hospital.  There's a team of doctors ready for surgery standing on the helipad.

The flight nurses push past me and fly out of the small space carefully, but quickly exiting and taking Shawn with them.  This is when I get the first look at him.  His face is sickly pale, his skin wet from sweat and other fluids, from the waist down he is covered in blood, his tattered, ripped fire suit soaked in blood.  The hand I once held dangles off the bed.  Limp and lifeless.  I can't tell if his chest is moving, but I heard one of the doctors say "we still have time" as they rush him into the elevator and disappear.

All I want is to see the rise and fall of his chest.  His smile, his freakishly adorable S curl hanging from his hair as it lays gently on his forehead.  I want the color back in his face, in his body.  Hell...I'll even take his lame attempts at hitting on me.  I want any of these things because it means that he's okay.

In a daze, I remember the pilot of the helicopter helping me out and we take the next elevator down.  I don't know who this man is, I just know that when I collapse in the elevator, he's right by my side helping me up.  As the door opens, a welcome, yet sad sight comes into view.  Shawn's parents, sister, Niall and Emma are all waiting for me.  The minute I can feel my own two feet again, I run to Emma and Niall and fall, taking them to the floor with me.  The three of us, sitting in the middle of the waiting room on the floor, crying hysterically as Emma pulls me in her arms and stokes my hair.  Aaliyah joins us, and I find enough strength to look at her tear coated eyes as we cry in each other's arms together. 

"Shhhh...Liyah, he's going to be alright."  I whisper in her ear as I'm holding her, not even believing my own words.  I realize though; I can't be the broken one right now. I need to be strong for her.  I need to be there for her in case this goes south.  I love her like a sister and right now she needs me.  Shawn needs me to keep her safe and cared for.  "Wh...what ha...happened?" She cries.

"Not now sis, we just have to pray okay?" Niall says gently as he scoots over and takes both of us in his lap.  Rocking us back and forth, the next thing I know...darkness takes over and my body goes limp.

________________________________________

A few hours later...

"Mila?  Mila honey...." I hear a whisper close to me.  "Honey it's mom, we need you to open your eyes now."  I feel her stroking my hair as my body starts to feel again.  My senses come back to me and I'm met with the stench of alcohol wipes, and other unimaginable smells.  I hear a faint beeping and for some reason I don't think it's coming from me, but when I open my eyes and look down there's a white thing on my pointer finger, a black cuff around my bicep and a needle in my arm.

I feel groggy and my head is throbbing.  "Mmmm.... what happened?" I ask quietly. 

"You passed out honey and your heart rate dropped really low.  You have an IV for fluids and they are monitoring your blood pressure and oxygen." My dad says from the corner of the room.

"You scared the shit out of us." James says as I turn to my other side and see he's holding my hand, sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry..." I say tiredly.

Emma and Niall walk into my room and I can tell she's been crying.  She sees me awake and runs to my bedside.

"You're okay!" She exclaims happily as she scoots James over and wraps me in her arms.  She's squeezing me so tight I can't breathe.  "Ehh...ehh..Emma! Can't...can't breathe.." I choke out.  "Oh right! Sorry babe!" She says embarrassed as she lets me go.  She retreats back to Niall's side as they sit on the couch in front of the big window in my room.

"Where's Shawn?  Is he okay? I want to see him!" I say suddenly as I realize the whole reason I'm here in the first place is because Shawn's accident.

"He's still in surgery." Niall says and the room goes silent.

"What? Why is everyone so quiet?" I ask confused, but also scared.

"Mila." My mom says taking my hand. "Shawn coded on the operating table. They got him back, but he's lost a lot of blood." She says as tears well in her eyes. "Karen says to keep praying, but things don't look good honey."

"No! NO!" I cry. "There has to be something I can do! We can do!! He can't die!" I scream, tears spilling out of my eyes. "He can't leave me." I whisper...suddenly too embarrassed to admit I have feelings for him. I don't need to play the damsel in distress. I'm far from that.

"Please mom! There has to be something!" I look at her with wide pleading eyes.

"There is something you can do..." I whip my head to see Manny and Karen standing in my doorway. "The blood bank is running out of blood for him and they need more to finish his surgery. They've asked family members to donate. We are all a match and have given what we can, but they need more." Manny says.

"I'll do it!" I say quickly without thinking. "Tell the nurse they can take my blood. I'm O-, the universal donor, tell them I'll do it!" I say firmly.

"No Camila! You just fainted not too long ago and you barely have enough strength to get out of this bed!" My dad tries to reason with me.

"Dad, I get you're trying to protect me, but I'm at a hospital. I'll be fine, meanwhile my friend is dying and I can save him! Let me save him!" I cry.

"Okay.."

At that, Karen nods and runs to grab the nurse. She comes back and after determining my height and weight, she puts a very large needle in my arm and I'm able to give a unit of blood and a unit of platelets. The nurse tells me this isn't a normal circumstance, but I'm more than willing and since I'm already hooked up to fluids and I got almost all my blood back from giving the platelets, I feel fine.

"How do you feel?" Emma asks. My parents and Niall have since left the room and it's now just me and her. "I feel fine! A pint of blood lighter, but fine none the less."

"That's not entirely what I meant Mila. I didn't know you had such strong feelings for Shawn. Last I knew, you hated him still." She looks at me sternly and then her face softens as she asks again. "So how do you really feel?"

"I'm scared Em. I'm so scared they are going to walk in this room and tell me he's gone. He kissed me last night and it was like my body was on fire. We were magnetic...electric. The feeling of his hands on my body and my hands in his hair... I know he was a playboy before, but Em he was changing...He was changing for me and I felt that." I sigh, dropping my face in my hands. "We were just starting to figure each other out again...I can't lose him before I even get the chance to love him." I whimper into my hands.

I feel the bed dip beside me and Emma's arms wrap around me as I sob into her chest.

"Shhh..baby...it's okay. He's fighting for you, I know he is! You just have to believe that. You've given him a gift and hopefully that's enough." She says against the top of my hair.

"You still have time Mila. He's not going anywhere."