Driving Me Crazy

Chapter 17

Once I feel well enough to get out of bed, my IV is removed and the doctor tells me he wants to keep me overnight just for observation, but my blood pressure and oxygen is fine.

I get up to use the bathroom and have to steady myself on my feet quickly.  I haven't heard any update on Shawn so I have to assume no news is good news.

I take care of myself and when I go to look in the mirror I look horrible.  My eyes have big black bags underneath, my skin is pale and my lips have lost their color as well.  I quickly shake my head and wash my face, hoping to look a little more lively.  I brush my hair out and braid it down on side.  The hospital gown I'm wearing is huge, I feel like I'm swimming in to, but I can't help that right now.

Walking out of the bathroom, I see Aaliyah standing by my bed.

"Liyah?" I ask.  "Liyah what's wrong?"  I say as I walking over to her quickly and step in front of her.  I see tears down her face and I feel my stomach drop as tears of my own start to form.

"He's...he's okay Mila." She says quietly as she lets out a sigh of relief.

"He is?" I ask in shock as I breathe my own sigh of relief.  "Yes, he's not awake yet, but the doctors said he had pretty extensive surgery so it might be a little while."  She says looking up at me.

I pull her quickly into a hug and we pull away with smiles and tears of joy.  I honestly can't believe it!  It's a miracle!

"Can I go see him?" I ask her.  "Of course you can.  I think he might hurt me if he knew I kept you from him.  He's always had a thing for you ya know..." she trails off as I nudge her gently.  She turns to help me make sure my gown is tied in the back and we head off to his room.

"He's in room 808." She says.

As we approach the room, we see Niall sitting outside, his face in his hands, his knees to his chest.  "Niall...what's wrong?" I ask...fear laced in my voice.

"He's gone."

Aaliyah and I look at each other in shock.  I'm start shaking a little trying to hold back tears and she looks like she might throw up.  "He was just here.  What do you mean he's gone?" She screams at him.

Looking up, he takes a deep breath.  "I mean, he's gone back to surgery.  He had another seizure so they went back in to run some scans and see if they needed to evacuate a brain bleed." He states plainly.

I sit down next to him and punch him in the arm.  "Jesus Niall, you scared the shit out of us!" I said incredulously. I smack him again for good measure.  Jerk!

Manny and Karen must be in the waiting room again because they are no where to be found.  The three of us go and sit in Shawn's room. 

Waiting.

Emma comes into the room with a beverage carrier full of coffee cups.  She hands Aaliyah's a hot chocolate, me a mint tea and her and Niall each get a coffee.  We all must have fallen asleep because I'm awoken by Karen shaking me lightly.

"Camila, honey.  He's back sweetie." She says as she rubs my shoulder.

I yawn and stretch, raising my arms above my head and taking in the sight in front of me.  I get up from the couch after untangling myself from Emma and Aaliyah.  Walking over to his bed, Manny pushes a chair behind me for me to sit down on.  I sit down and grab his hand.

He's got an IV in his other hand and he's got a tube down his throat, tape securing it to the side of his mouth.  A constant, steady beep from the heart monitor can be heard in the otherwise silent room.  His face has a little more color to it, and he looks like he's in a peaceful sleep.  The slight rise and fall of his chest could lull me back to sleep, however I'm too awake now and to worried about him that sleep is the furthest thing from my mind.

"What happened?  Why's he still on a vent?"  I ask looking between Karen and Manny.

"Well..as you know, he lost a lot of blood and his body suffered quite a shock from the crash.  They did have to evacuate a brain bleed, but that was actually minor.  He had another seizure because of the brain bleed and he's got some broken ribs and his femur broke when the bar went through his leg."  Manny says.

"He's got brain activity and the doctors told us that he can breathe on his own, but they are worried if he's awake, he might fight his recovery and push himself too far."  His dad sighs as Karen continues.  "For that reason, he's in a medically induced coma until they deem him recovered enough to be awake and moving on his own." 

I know what a medically induced coma is, Shawn's body is basically put into a reversible sleep with the help of medication.  This helps his body to heal at a faster rate.  Just because I know that he's in a coma due to medicine and not due to another reason, I feel a little better, but the word coma still scares me.

"A coma?" I state... "Do they have any idea how long he needs to be this way?"

"No, they don't.  It depends on how determined he is to get better.  The doctor said the more love and support he has around him, the better he'll be."  Manny says.

I nod in understanding and decide right in this moment that I'm not leaving his side until he wakes up.  Even then I don't know if I want to leave his side.

I'm not going to let him be alone in this.  I can forgive him for everything else, but I don't think I could ever forgive myself if he died and I wasn't there by his side.