Driving Me Crazy

Chapter 30

"Camila....I want to ask you something." He says, looking at me with a big smile on his face.

Is he going to ask me what I think he's going to ask me?  My heart is skipping a beat and I'm
Internally having a giddy, screaming fest in my mind.

"Yes Shawn...what do you want to ask me?" I question.

Taking a deep breath, he replies. "Will you....get me my Chapstick? It's in my bag. I feel like my lips are super chapped and I don't want to keep kissing you with rough lips." He says.

My heart and face drop slightly. That is not what I thought he was going to ask me.

Getting up from his lap I reply "Sure Shawn" walling over to his duffle bag and getting his Chapstick.

Bringing it back over to him, he applies it to his lips and puts the tube on his bedside table.

"There all better, thanks!" He smirks, puckering his lips to kiss me. As he leans forward, I turn my head and his lips land firmly on my cheek.

He pulls back immediately and looks me in shock.

"What's the matter baby?" He asks concerned.

"Nothing Shawn." I say quietly.

Selfishly I'm a little annoyed he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend just then. His freaking Chapstick?! Seriously....this man!!

"Your face is telling me a different story Camila. What's wrong?" He tries again.

I gently shake my head and walk towards his big picture window overlooking the gardens and a small water feature down below. Crossing my arms over my chest, I feel myself pout like a child.

What has gotten into me? Camila Cabello does not pout.

"Mila..." he says, rolling his wheelchair over to me.

Taking my hand in his, he turns me to face him. I'm now looking down at him, and it makes me feel a little more powerful than I should.

"Mila...talk to me please." He begs.

"It's nothing Shawn really!" I say firmly as I walk away from him yet again to the other side of the room.

Rolling over to me again, it's like we are playing this game of cat and mouse.

"Clearly something is wrong if you can't even look at me." He says.

Sighing, I take a deep breath and allow my eyes to meet his.  I keep my distance, but I turn to face him head on.

"Just now...when you told me you had something to ask me...I thought...I thought you were going to ask me something else!" I say, looking down at my feet, but not before he catches a glimpse of my cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

"Oh Camila...I'm sorry!" He sighs, pushing himself closer to me.

"We talked about this already baby.  I don't want to ask you that until I'm ready and can ask you how you deserve." He says.  Reaching forward, he takes both my hands and I feel his warmth pulse through me, his golden eyes looking worriedly into mine.

"Lord knows I have screwed up too many times when it comes to you.  You deserve to be asked in a way that's significant to both of us, and not just in the moment because things are changing and I'm getting better." He says.

Squeezing my hands as he pulls me into his lap again; but not without a fight first, he gently uses one hand to rub my back, while the other wipes a stray tear from my cheek.

I don't know why I'm being so emotional, but I can't help it.  I feel disappointed, but I try and smile weakly at him.

"You have to know that you are the only girl I want baby.  I don't want anyone else, I don't even want to look at anyone else besides you." He tries to reassure me.

I let out a small huff as more tears roll down my face.  "Okay." I reply.

"Camila, listen.  I want to be with you!  But I also want to do this when it's the best time for both of us.  I know we are more than friends, I mean...friends don't kiss like we do, but I also know that I want to build on what we have before we take the next step." He says as he cups my face with his big hands.

"It's only you for me Cabello!" He smirks.  "Okay?  There is no one else I want baby!  I promise."

Letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding, I bring my face closer to his as we keep our eyes locked on each other's.  "Okay...I believe you baby.  When the time is right....I'll say yes!" I say quietly.

"Yes!" He exclaims.

Bringing his lips closer to mine, he gently pecks my lips before he pulls away.

"I'm sorry if this isn't what you want Mila, I just know that I have a lot of things to figure out, and I still want you by my side to help me and be with me."

"I know.  I'm sorry too.  I don't mean to be such a baby about this.  I just want to be happy, and I want to be happy with you." I sigh.  "But now they I know for sure where your head is at, I feel better saying that I can wait.  I do agree with you, and I want you to know that you are all I want, too." I say as a small smile graces my lips.

Shawn lets Ike a deep breath and wraps me in his arms.

"Thank you Camila!  I promise it won't be long!"

"You better be right Mendes." I warn part seriously, part sarcastically.

"It won't be!  Are you feeling any better about us?" He asks.

Leaning closer to his lips, I say "Yes I am" before I pull face to mine and give him a kiss that I hope shows him I'm in this with him until the end.