Two rules that are never broken:
1. Drunken mistakes have lasting consequences
2. New Year's resolutions never go as planned
But is it a good thing or a bad thing when life throws in the plot twists? Calum and CiCi are about to find out...
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Calu...
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Liked by britbrat, and 292,593 others. CiCi: PSA: Adults can have fun together without being in a relationship. Also, DO NOT FUCKING COMPARE MY LIFE TO MY DAD'S!!! 🖕🏻🖕🏻
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Calum glances at the post again as he pushes out of the studio, it had made him nervous five hours ago when he'd seen it during their lunch break, and it is still making him uneasy now. Seated behind the wheel of his Range Rover he makes the decision to go check on her. He'd seen the article, Nate had practically screamed it at him earlier, annoyed that somehow CiCi and him had made another headline, but less so when he realized the headline was showing Calum as a positive influence in CiCi's life.
Calum didn't read into that part though, Calum read into the bit about her dad and his new girlfriend. She hadn't talked extensively about it but something about this girlfriend set CiCi on edge, and it seemed to be a lot about the same things the article had mentioned.
So, as Calum pulls away from the studio lot, he has come to the resolve that his destination is not his own home, but the mansion on the upper side of Beverly Hills. Hoping his presence will be welcome and not a nuisance to CiCi when he arrives.
The drive is relatively short for LA traffic, and as he pulls into the expansive drive Calum wonders if he should have brought dinner for them both, if she is anywhere near the level of panic she was the last time something about her dad came out she wouldn't have thought about food today.
Resolved to the fact that he can order food if they need and that he needs to stop making excuses, he steps from the car, the beep of him locking it sounding loudly through the quiet neighborhood.
With two quick knocks to the door Calum waits, hoping that CiCi will answer quickly and his anxiety and uncertainty about coming over unannounced will die with one look into her eyes.
Glancing up after a minute as he hears the lock click, his eyes meet her hazel grey ones, bare of makeup and slightly puffy still as if she had spent most of the day crying.
"You came." She smiles softly, pulling him through the door before closing it again.
"I'd have been here five hours ago, but work." He frowns, tugging gently at the hand he is still holding until she bumps into his chest, sliding his arms around her shoulders instead. "Talk to me, Lia, tell me what's frazzling your beautiful mind."
He can feel her tense in his arms, her face pressed into his chest as she fists the back of his t-shirt. "They think I'm a good role model for my dad." She chokes out, "I hate my dad."
"I know you had a rocky relationship with him, but you hate him?" Calum frowns, a completely foreign concept to him, he talks to his dad at least three times a week, always asking for advice and guidance in life from the man he trusts most.
"He hasn't really been a dad to me since the day mom died. And he has tarnished her memory so much. I can't stand him honestly, I try, but more than about two days with the man and I want to run, or hide, or pull my hair out."
"Come on." Calum frowns feeling his t-shirt clad chest becoming wet with her tears, guiding her carefully towards the stairs and up to her room.
"When mom died, it ruined this family." CiCi sniffles, pulling her duvet up and over them as Calum settles into her bed with her tightly in his arms still.
"Why?"
"My mom, she was the most amazing person I've ever known. She was kind and gentle, soft spoken and loving. She would have done anything for dad, she loved him so much. She was my best friend, we did everything together. I was such a different person back then. Dad adored her too, I know that for sure, he dotted on her like she was his queen."
"The article, it um, it said she died from self-inflicted injuries?" Calum clears his throat nervously.
"She took a bottle of pills. I was at school, dad at the office, and she was here. I found her when I got home. I was thirteen..." Calum instinctively wraps his arms tighter around her as she spills that tidbit.
"Dad changed that day. I changed that day. She said she couldn't do it anymore, in her note. It was all about the pressures of being dad's wife, of having to be perfect all the time for his image. I think he has always blamed himself for it, and that's why he changed so much. He became quiet, distancing himself from me and everyone else around him. There was no real grieving together for our loss. He just hid away on his own, he would leave for weeks on end. A nanny would stay with me and basically raised me for three years before dad decided I didn't need the nanny and I was on my own. He'd pop in here and there, usually with some leech attached to his side. I hated it, he wasn't my dad anymore. I'd lost my mom so suddenly, and then in the same event I'd lost my dad too. And it was worse, to lose him, because he was still there physically, but he was a complete stranger too."
"I started to do stupid things to cover my pain, I needed to act irrationally to keep myself from losing myself. I had become so hurt... so lost... and then CiCi was born. And then dad started to give me attention again, even if it was yelling and frustration over the articles out there about me. Even if he only talked to me and about me to try and tame my insanity. It made me feel something again to be getting attention from him and the media. It became who I was, feeding off the attention and gossip. I was given an identity again even if it wasn't a good one. Cecilia went in the closet, she was broken and afraid of life, and CiCi thrived on the chaos."
"But then you showed up and suddenly without even trying Cecilia was shown to you. And then dad brought home Robin, and she looks so much like mom, and has a personality, and she wants to know me. And it scares me. The last time dad was with someone like that it was my mom. I don't know if I'm ready for him to be in a real relationship. Has he healed? Will he get hurt again and get worse than he was after mom died. I don't know how to handle it all and it's scaring me."
"Lia." Calum swallows hard, hugging her tightly. "She will never be your mom, you know that right? Even if she wants to get to know you. Even if she wants to be in your life and in your dad's life. She could never replace your mom. Do you not want your dad to heal and to find happiness again?"
"Of course I do. But, we've never been happy or functional, not since mom left us, and I'm terrified of how much it is going to hurt and change me to see it happen. I don't know how to let it happen."
"You won't have to do it alone, Lia, I promise." Calum shifts slightly, brushing her hair back as he meets her eyes.
"I'm terrified."
"I'm right here to hold your hand." He reiterates.
"Thank you." She nods softly, shifting forward until her lips meet his, done talking and wanting him to take her to another place.
------------------------ Heavy chapter!
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Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! And happy Holidays to all! I hope you have a great day and season! I will be updating again later today. ❤️
