ɪɴ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ's ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ

❦︎ᴄʜᴀᴘɪᴛʀᴇ ᴠɪɪ

There's a point in your life where you keep yourself away from your fear. You create ways to avoid it because you're afraid to face it, and learn the things that it can do.

You just want to run away from it that's why it will always be a fear. It won't change , even yourself.

Just like at this moment the only thing that is running from my mind is how to run away from here. Far away where things won't collapse and destroy me.

"I got yah"  I heard him said. He has this sweet mint scent breath that alarms me, telling me that he's so close.

Close from me , my face and my fear.

I was sweating, a cold sweat from my forehead, nose, neck and even my arms.

The comfort room starts to feel cold when there's no aircon. As he closes our distance my vision starts to blur and my heart won't stop beating from fear, from him.

Narinig ko naman ang paghampas ni Tisoy sa pintuan "buksan mo to" wika nya nakuha nya ang atensyon ko kaya't napagilid ang ulo ko upang pakinggan ito.

Naramdaman ko ang isang mainit na kamay na humawak sa baba ko "Hey I'm talking to you" anya.

He observe me like how a Lion observed its prey before it bites. I meet his eyes, I breathe in when I see those pairs of brown hazelnut eyes, the intense and the burning of it makes me feel anxious. Bumaba ang tingin nito sa aking ilong na halos may pawis na.

I can see his long lashes that make it obvious and it's a bit curl in the tip. Angat na angat ito parang kaya na akong paypayan.

I also notice how high his nose bridge is. It's too pointed na parang halos nahahawi na ang tip ng nose ko. It's glowing like there is a highlighter put in it. Walang black heads pero there are a few pores that made it imperfectly perfect. Those cheeks are clean and have a little reddish blush but it's natural. Mistiso kung tatawagin ang mukha nya.

My eyes slightly glance at his lips, the lower is a bigger one while the upper is a bit thin but no chops and so naturally red.

He has many assets and he's not a normal hot boyish handsome guy but a handsome handsome guy. A face you could see in those magazines.

I couldn't believe that this kind of face is near me at this point. Invading my personal space.

Sobrang gwapo nya bakit ako pa ang natritripan nya ngayon? Why not those women outside? Why me?

His looks are so dangerous it's screaming wealth, expensive, class and face card. That can be used in bad ways.

He had the face of a prince, a shining armor but behind that face is a monster. This face is familiar. It's like someone I know, someone that I trusted before. Someone that I admired because of its angel looks. Someone who betrayed me. Someone like him.

I trembled. My tears are building up. I'm starting to think that day. My sweat becomes cold , my tummy starts to twirl like something is churning in it. My vision has a black dot on it. My body trembled more.

And I feel like I'm going to puke.

Someone help me.

I bravely touch his chest when he's about to lean more on me. It's suffocating. I don't want to be here.

I grip his shirt. "P-Please go away" that sounds pathetic and desperate.

He chuckled. Tawa ng mang aangat sayo sa buhay.

My eyes get bigger from the response I get. May mukha bang nakakatawa sa sitwasyon ko ngayon? I'm having a panic attack for petty sake!

I take all the courage to push him. It was a lame push but still nakalayo ito ng kaunti. Nagulat ang reaksyon nito ng napaatras sa akin.

I get that chance to open the door. At dahil nasa kabailang pintuan lang si Tisoy ay mas mabilis itong nabuksan.

I ran to him. "L-Lets go please" sabi ko dito ng makalapit. My trembled hand reached him. Mabilis nyang kinuha ang kamay ko. Bago kami umalis ay tinapunan nya ng masamang tingin ang lalaking ngayon ay nasa loob pa rin ng comfort room.

Hinila na nya ako paalis ng lugar. Nadaan pa namin si Sum na takang taka sa mga nangyayari pero hindi na nagtanong at kinuha ang bag at sumunod sa amin palabas.

Napansin kami ng apo ng Don hindi nakalimot si Tisoy na yumuko dito bago kami tuluyang umalis. Sobrang bilis ng mga kilos namin dahilan upang hindi na sila nakareact sa amin.

When I looked back from them nakita ko ang papalapit na figure. Nakatingin ito sa amin , sa akin before he smirks.

He even mouthed "see you" that makes me want to collapse there. I grip Tisoy hands bago nito harangan ng kamay ang panginin ko.

"Wag mo na syang pansinin. Uuwi na tayo" anya.

Napayuko ako at umiling. No this is supposed to be our jamming together why do I have to ruin it?

"Vin umuwi na tayo namumutla ka na nag aalala na kami sayo" sagot naman ni Sum at hinawakan ang kamay ko

" Pwede naman natin tong gawin sa bahay na lang hmm" suhestyon ni Tisoy saka yumuko upang mag pantay kami.

I didn't notice that I was already crying, here in the middle of the mall where people are looking weirdly at us.

"Okay" tugon ko which is napatango sila pareho.

Tahimik lang kaming nasa sasakyan. Walang  nag usisa, nag tanong o nagbanggit ng kahit ano sa nangyari kanina.  I'm thankful for dahil ayaw ko munang buksan ang paksang yun.

But also weird dahil matanong ang isang Sum pero tahimik lang ito buong byahe. I appreciate that kind of gesture because hindi pinagpilitang buksan.

Nag pa special pala kami sa tricycle. Madalas kasing jeep ang sinasakyan pero dahil matagal pa bago byumahe. Punuan kasi bago byabyahe ang jeep which is halos kalahating oras bago mapuno. We can't afford to wait that long parang lahat kami ay gusto na talagang umuwi.

Nadaan namin ang mansyon ni Don, malayo ito sa highway pero kitang kita ang garbo nito. I smiled bitterly, hanggang kailan nya patitirahin ang mga kaibigan ng Senorito? Uuwi din ba sila matapos ang bakasyon? Or are they also going to stay here .....for good?

I gulped.

Pagkarating sa aming Sitio which is 2 barangay away from Barron kung saan nakatira sila Don. Naunang bumaba si Tisoy sunod ay ako hindi kami dumiretso sa bahay namin kundi kila Sum.

"Oh bat ang bilis nyo ata " wika ng mama ni Sum pag pasok namin. Nagmano kami rito.

"Saan ang pinabili ko Sum?" Tanong ng Ina nito

"Ma ano eh wala yung pinapabili mo di ko mahanap yung mismong store, tapos naghanap na ko sa iba wala" anya naman

Tumango na lamang ang ina nito.

"Ma akyat lang kami sa kwarto ko " Sabi ni Sum tumuloy na kami room si Tisoy ay nagtungo muna sa bahay namin upang ipag paalam ako at sabihing bukas na lang namin bibilhin ang mga pinabili nya.

"Anong gusto mong meryenda, hindi ko napatake out yung order natin kanina" anya saka napakamot sa batok.

"Wala akong gana" wika ko

He pat the spot next to him telling me to sit beside him.

"Itago mo muna yan. Kapag sobrang bigat na pwede mong ikwento kahit di direct kahit magulo, kahit kulang kulang, kahit di namin maiintindihan basta mailabas mo lang. " Seryosong wika nya saka ako inakbayan.

"Kung feeling mo wala kang matatakbuhan batuhin mo lang yang bintana ko sasaluhin kita dito sa kwarto ko. Wag mo lang suluhin." Anya pa saka ngumiti. But I can see sadness in those eyes.

"Kapatid na kita kaya gusto rin kitang protektahan. Sana wag mong ipagkait yun sakin" anya pa.

I hugged him parang kakaibang comfort yung naibigay nya sakin. Naramdaman ko rin ang isa pang bisig sumali na sa amin si Tisoy.

"Wala palang iyakan" anya na ikinatawa lang namin.

I hope someday that I can see these two beside me. Thank you for these real friends. 

ᴠᴏᴛᴇ            ☏︎ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ        ✔︎ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡ