Hard Fucking Death Core

NINETEEN (Iselen POV)

All hail the Queen of Drummers ⬆⬆⬆😂😂😂 jekyll23

It has already begun... I can still hear the disappointment in Vanessa's voice when she explained me she thought I was making a huge mistake and was sorry because she'd chose her best journalist for this job. She believes I'm going to ruin my life if I have an intimate relationship with Ruby, I'm putting my reputation at stake and I'll be fired when everything goes to hell. I had to switch my IG account to private... Only a hundred opera fans used to follow me before but HFDC fans understood soon that I was the journalist traveling with the Hardcores in this tour and thousands of them follow my account despite I hardly publish anything about the band, I used to send the best pics to Vanessa so she could publish them on the magazine IG account. Kind comments have turned into questions about my relationship with Ruby and they become more aggressive each passing day even if I never answer. Some journalist friends have called me under the pretext of talking about old times but they actually wanted to get some information from me... I had to lie to my family so they don't get worried... My mom has asked me if I get drunk and do drugs every night... I couldn't help but laugh.

I don't know if Ruby has talked to the girls but the Hardcores know something is going on, no doubt, and they behave cautiously around me but also very protective when paparazzi chase me to take a good picture every time we leave the hotel. I used to be the girl in the background looking down shyly but now they want my picture in the middle of the band and hugging the singer, if possible... Ruby never leaves my side and, even if she pretends to be the same brazen and confident lesbian as always, I know deep inside she feels embarrassed by her confession. She doesn't like to look weak and probably believes she's given me ammunition against her if I wanted to blackmail her emotionally... She's lucky I'm not a manipulative sociopath like her.

But I did check her story and asked Madison about the monsters, she confirmed me they're real and Ruby has tried all kinds of therapies that never worked, only music and her determination to become successful and get a revenge against her father seemed to help her... And now I'm her antidepressant. I don't understand why, I haven't done anything... Mads doesn't understand it either but doesn't care about why, she's happy because her friend has found something that really works and brings her peace and she doesn't give a damn about the reasons why I'm so good at fighting monsters, exactly how Ruby feels too. She got in a spiritual mood later and explained me that maybe we've met in a previous life, we fell in love and now our souls have recognized each other again... I took the joint from her hand and told her she'd had enough weed and it was time to go to bed.

I can't believe I'm doing this: putting my life and professional career at stake for a woman who has obvious mental health issues and with whom I have an amazing sexual chemistry. We have fun together, we talk about music and art, I get on well with her friends... That would be the foundation of a healthy relationship, looking for shared interests little by little, trying to solve the problems that will come up due to Ruby's hectic working schedule, the tours... drugs and alcohol... That will trigger arguments sooner or later. But this isn't a normal relationship, everything goes too fast, we're skipping critical steps to establish a good communication, I don't trust her even if I should, I feel I'm about jumping from a plane without a parachute... But I'm ready to do it in spite of all because I can't leave her alone with her demons... Maybe Mads is right, maybe I gave up too soon because my soul feels drawn by Ruby... Or maybe she's a sorceress and has casted a spell.

Tonight's concert was great as usual in this tour, more than 72,500 people sang and danced in Rome Olympic Stadium despite the conservative newspapers of the city told the young citizens not to listen to that decadent and promiscuous band. The headlines made the girls laugh and they promised they were going to play louder and better than ever before... and they really did. They had a quick shower in the dressing room and went to take some pics with their fans despite the van was waiting in a private parking lot far away from the entrance door. We made it to the Waldorf Astoria hotel less than one hour later because it was close and they had a light dinner ready for us in Taylor's suite.