BALLPEN: Who Will Be My Boyfriend?

🖋️Fifteen🖋️

                                 🍂

    I decided to let go than to hold on.
 

"Is she okay?" I heard Lei's voice but I pretend that I'm still sleeping.

"To tell you honestly, she's not doing well. Her heart was weak so she needs a surgery as soon as possible."

"Okay, doc. I'll try to talk to her."

I remain silent. I heard footsteps until its slowly fades. I open my eyes and turn my face to his direction.

He was just sitting there, staring at the wall like he's thinking something.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Agad naman siyang nataranta nang marinig niya ang boses ko.

"Oh shit! Gising ka na. Tatawag lang ako ng doctor."

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako ng mabilis siyang naglaho sa paningin ko. Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas ay dumating na rin ang mga doctor at nurse para icheck ako. Pagkatapos ng mga examination ay umalis na rin sila.

Naupo na lang ako sa kama at tumitig sa kawalan. I was thinking earlier kung nasaan si Dylan ngayon.

"Umalis na siya bago ka pa magising. Ayos na ba ang pakiramdam mo? Nahihirapan ka pa rin bang huminga? Iyong puso mo masakit pa ba?"

Napailing na lang ako sa dami ng tanong ni Lei. Feeling ko tuloy artista ako at siya ang reporter.

"Chill, I'm fine. Hindi na sumasakit ang puso ko," natatawang sabi ko.

"Anong chill ka diyan. Muntik ka ng mamatay tapos patawa-tawa ka lang diyan," inis na sabi niya kaya napailing na lang ako.

"Ang OA mo masyado! Aren't you happy that I'm still alive?" Tinaasan ko pa siya ng kilay. Napabuntong hininga na lang siya.

"Syempre masaya. Alangan namang malungkot ako, sira ka talaga." Napairap na lang ako at bahagyang napangiwi ng kumirot ang puso ko.

"Ayos ka lang?" Mabilis naman akong tumango kay Lei. Nginitian ko na lang siya to assure him na ayos lang ako.

I inhaled a large amount of air to lessen the pain.

"Does he know my condition?" Mabilis naman siyang umiling.

"I promise that no one will know about your condition di'ba? Sinabi ko na lang sa kanya na anemic ka at inatake ng asthma."

Nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag. At least hindi niya nalaman ang totoong kondisyon ko.

"Sammie?"

Nangunot naman ang noo ko nang tawagin niya ako.

"What?"

Huminga muna siya ng malalim at sinalubong ang tingin ko.

"Wala ka ba talagang balak magpaopera?" Agad naman akong nag-iwas ng tingin.

"I already told you the answer. Even if I took that surgery, I will still die." Agad naman siyang umiling at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

"Hey, don't say that okay? You're not dying. You can still live longer, just take that surgery. Please?"

Nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin.

"Then why should I live? What's the purpose of living if all I can feel is emptiness?" He look at me and smiled.

"Everything has a reason. Why you should live? Then live for your love ones. What is the purpose of Living? It is to cherish every moment with them before you leave.