I Guess They Never Disappear

Chapter 4

Trigger Warning: Parents Arguing (Do Not Read if this is a trigger, stay safe please!)

Jared POV

Isabel offered to drive out to Ann Arbor to help me pack up my boxes and load them into the U-Haul. I believe she called it a 'Fun Mother-Son Opportunity'. 

She gets more like Heidi Hansen every day. Not like that that's a bad thing, I guess; Heidi was always a second mom to me growing up. It's a shame I'll never be able to visit her again. 

I declined the offer. 

I pile into the U-Haul after checking one last time that I have everything. It's not a very long check: I personally think a U-Haul was overkill, although I don't know what else I would've done;  I didn't bring my SUV to college and I didn't get a car while I was here, obviously. Public transit here is okay, it's not like I was going on road trips on the weekends either. 

Maps says that it's going to take me at least six and a half hours of driving. Yay.

Might as well get started then.

I start the route and turn on an audiobook that my mom sent me for one of the nights of Chanukah, although it's not long before my mind drifts from the mostly-boring book.

It seems like I'm going backwards instead of forwards, coming home. 

What am I going to do next, forgive the Hansen boy?

There's some hope that he won't be there, but if I knew anything about him, it would be that he was way too attached to Heidi to leave her for good. 

Isabel doesn't really understand how the falling-out happened, or whatever. She saw the aftermath, for sure, but she never asked, and neither did Ethan, although I could tell she at least wanted to. 

Maybe it's good that she didn't. 

I mean, some of that was my fault, of course. I'm mature enough to accept that I was a really shitty person sometimes in high school, especially to Hansen, who just put up with it until he ... didn't. 

It's not like I miss the boy a ton or something. Maybe I just miss having some sort of sidekick or something, somebody who'll stick with me through everything. Maybe there'll be a boy someday, although that's unlikely. It's not like I'm the most lovable person on the planet or anything. 

Then again, it's not like I'm dreaming of love or anything. The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman does not get attached to people. I don't need people, clearly, as I've survived six years without a close friend or life partner, and I've gotten far. 

Cheesy as it sounds, my Mac Book Pro is probably the closest thing I have to a companion, only because it's been with me for such a long time. True, I would hate if it died, but only because those things are fucking expensive and I don't think I can afford another. 

(And we all know the original purchaser could care less about me.)

When I say that Mac Book Pro has been with me through a lot, I really do mean it, if you catch my drift. 

It's certainly easier on the brain to think about those experiences. Feelings are messy. Unlike High School Jared, I understand that I can't never think about them, but I can try to keep myself from venturing below the surface. 

The surface is where the important stuff is, right? 

It works for me, at least. 

Anyways, I've been driving for an hour, and I'm already tired of it. 

I guess my mom figured that I'd love to drive this instead of shipping the few boxes, packing some clothes, and catching a flight. Most of the men in our family love driving. Like driving insanely long distances that could just be flown. I don't know why. They all bond over it too.