I Guess They Never Disappear

Chapter 14

Jared POV

"Isn't it a little bit early to meet the parents?"

Evan sends his reply quickly. 

"We have to tell them at some point that we're dating."

"Fine."

He messages me the details later: dinner at his house, six P.M., make a good impression, et cetera, et cetera. 

In the past week, we've come up with our story over messages and a few phone calls. I haven't seen him since dinner at his house, and that kinda makes me wonder if he's avoiding me, but I push that thought to the back of my mind. That's clingy, and I'm anything but clingy. Especially around Evan. 

It's probably, nothing. 

I decide to go over the story one more time: I asked Evan out, we had pasta together, and then at the end of the date I gave him a kiss on the cheek and asked him on another. It's been a month since then. 

The story isn't completely fake, really, because yes we did have pasta, and yes I did ask him to make it with me, and yes I did give him a kiss on the cheek at the end which was a really, really stupid move. 

See, um... I like Evan again. 

Like like, as a child would probably say. 

And that was definitely not supposed to happen. 

The plan was to stay far enough away, now that we're friends again. Easy enough, right? But then Evan comes around with his whole problem, and I suggest out of all things, to pretend to date him. And it shouldn't be an issue, except then I'm sitting there eating dinner with him and all the feelings are there again. It's so stupid. 

The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman does not catch feelings for his friends. What need do I have for it? Nothing. Insignificant crushes cause problems, and I know this. So why did I do it again?

I don't know. 

So I decide that the best way to resolve it is to leave and then I get the stupid fucking idea of kissing him on the cheek 'so he can get used to it'. Utter bullshit and I'm sure he saw right through it. 

And then I go through with it and run away like the absolute coward it seems I'm becoming. 

The worst part is, that does absolutely nothing to solve the problem of liking Evan. Because now I can't stop wondering what it would be like to actually kiss him and to have him actually kiss me, and for him to, y'know, feel the same way I do. 

Life was easier when I hated him, I think. 

A little part of my brain is bothering me, telling me that he'll find out and that things will go poorly, that they've always gone poorly and they will always continue to go poorly and I'm doomed to repeat the actions of past Jared who screwed things up and probably ruined any chances of him liking me that I could've had. 

I pick a button-down shirt out of the closet that doesn't look too wrinkled. Evan said to dress fancy, so here I am. 

What I wouldn't give for this to be real. 

But it won't and I need to focus on making sure Evan doesn't figure out that I want it to be. 

I check my phone and see that Evan's sent a little smiley face, the kind that you make with a colon and a right parenthesis, you know. 

And my face heats up.

So stupid. That's not flirting, or even anything that should reasonably make a person go even the slightest shade of red.