When the Universe Began [A Blackmadhi Fantasy AU]

Chapter Twenty-Two: Otherwise Known as Chapter Denial

"It's kind of annoying that Klav already planned everything. Don't I get an opinion? But at the same time, it's really helpful. All we have left to do now is to pick a date, which is proving to be a lot harder than it would seem. Stupid man can't even wait a few extra weeks, he's insisting that we get married as soon as possible," Nahyuta nodded along to everything Apollo said. It was far easier to just listen and let him go on when he got like this, "I mean, I did already keep him waiting a long time. That was at least the tenth time he proposed -may have even been the twentieth- and I had promised myself that I was going to say yes that time. I mean, we'd been dating for over five years... the time just felt right... you know?"

"No, I don't know Apollo. I've never been in a relationship before."

"Oh, right. I forgot you're pathetic."

"If you were dating for so long... why didn't you tell me sooner?" Apollo sighed, setting down the teacup he was holding and nervously brushing his fingers across his scar.

"...the time just never felt right, and eventually I forgot."

"Forgot to bring up the fact that you have a lovely boyfriend? Like you could forget that." Nahyuta raised an eyebrow at him and shoved his shoulder. How could he have forgotten to tell him about someone as lovely as Klavier? There must have been something that had kept him from doing so. And Nahyuta didn't want to think about what it could be.

"And what about you, asshole? Ever thought about getting married?" Nahyuta's face flushed and he glanced over to the door at Simon. He'd started to leave the door open so he could see him even when he was outside. He didn't want to miss a minute of time that he could be spending with Simon.

"Oh my god! You absolute sap!" Apollo laughed, following his gaze to see what he was staring at. Nahyuta shoved him again, trying to get him to shut up.

"Nahyuta... what exactly are you and Simon?" He just had to continue on with the question Nahyuta really didn't want to hear. He didn't know the answer... he didn't know if he would ever know the answer.

"We're.. friends." Apollo sighed, resting his hands over Nahyuta's.

"If you keep thinking like that Nahyuta, you're never going to be able to accept your growing feelings for him." How had he known?! Apollo had always been preceptive, but Nahyuta hadn't known he was a mind reader!

"I'm... not in love with Simon!" he protested. He couldn't be!

"It took me a while to warm up to Klav, but once I accepted my feelings, I felt much better. Trust me, you'll get there one day too." Both of them then glanced at the door as Simon let out a loud bark of laughter. Klavier must have said something funny.

"Why is my fiancé so dumb?" Apollo sighed, waving back at Klavier before Klavier left.

"You're the one who's marrying him. You have to live with that now."

"I already lived with him..."

"What are your plans for the future after this?" What more could there be beyond marriage?

"I hadn't really thought about it. Being with Klav is more than enough for now," Apollo sighed again, he really hadn't thought about anything beyond marriage, had he, "and what about you Nahyuta? What are your future plans?"

"I'll probably be a social recluse for the rest of my life. Hopefully Rayfa will still allow me to live here once she becomes queen." Nahyuta laughed. Rayfa? Queen? Unlikely. Apollo rolled his eyes, shoving Nahyuta's shoulder much harder than he probably should have.

"Not about you, stupid" When Nahyuta looked at him confused, he gestured between him and Simon.

"What are your future plans with Simon?" Nahyuta's face flushed again. He wasn't in love with him, there were no future plans. He really didn't want there to be.

"I hadn't thought about it..."

"You do remember that I can tell when you're lying? There's no way you haven't thought about it, you keep touching the back of your neck." Shit, right. Apollo could detect nervous ticks. No secret was safe from him. Nayuta sighed, nodding shyly and refusing to say anymore.

"Well, I should probably get going now. Think about what we just talked about. It's your homework, I will be checking tomorrow." Why was Apollo always so stubborn about these things? Maybe Nahyuta didn't want to realize he was in love with Simon. He... didn't want to be in love with him.

~~~

The early spring air brushed against his skin like a kiss as he stared down at the gardens. A kiss... his mind flashed to images of Simon's lips on his hand and then on his own lips. No... he really didn't love him. His face flushed as he brought his fingers to his lips, touching them gently like one would after a kiss like the one he'd just imagined. He'd never kissed anyone before. Why was he thinking about Simon being his first?! He didn't love him! The cold air was just making him delusional! Nahyuta went back into his room, slamming the balcony doors shut behind him. What would it be like to kiss Simon for real? He was still so oblivious to romance... did he want Simon to be his first? Maybe... it wouldn't be all that bad... maybe Simon could be all his firsts.