When You Least Expect It - 9-1-1 - Evan "Buck" Buckley

Chapter 14

I knocked on the door as hard as I could. I didn't know where else to go, I didn't know who else would understand. My hopes were dwindling with every second that passed that the door would open...until suddenly it did.

"Jenna? What the heck, are you ok?" Annabel pulled me inside. "It's late what are you doing here? Is everything ok?" She asked closing the door behind us.

"No" was all I was able to get out before bursting into tears.

"Oh honey, come here" she pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back soothingly.

She let me sob on her for what felt like hours before I had finally calmed down enough to explain what happened. We sat on the couch after she made some tea and let me spill everything that had happened.

Everything about the cancer, what happened with Buck, why I felt the way I did about everything and even everything about Greg came spilling out of me.

The whole time we were talking my phone kept going off. Multiple calls and texts were flooding in and I had no doubt that they were all from Buck.

"Wow" was all Annabel said taking a deep breath. "First of all" she started as my phone rang again. She looked at it then picked it up. "Hey Evan, she's here with me yeah she's safe. Listen-" I heard her voice get farther and farther away as she moved to the back of her place.

She was gone for a few minutes before she came back and set my phone back in my lap.

"Evan knows you're safe, he was worried about you. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you" she said softly. "That boy loves you something fierce girl, I don't think there's anything that would keep him from wanting to be with you"

I took a few deep breaths trying to hold my tears at bay but ultimately I lost the battle. I loved him so much and I wanted nothing more than to be with him, but I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't put him through all the hell that I was about to encounter and worse, I couldn't hold him back from having a family.

"Bel, I can't do that to him" I choked out through my tears.

"You can't do what to him, hun?" She rubbed her hand on my leg.

"I can't put him through all of this, I love him too much. If something happens to me-"

"Nothing is going to happen to you" she cut me off.

"You don't know that, I don't know that no one knows that. If I don't make it through this, I wouldn't be able to rest knowing the hurt he's going through. I've seen Gina go through it, I know what it does to a person. I can't do that to him, Bel"

"And you think leaving him now isn't hurting him?" She looked at me seriously. "Evan's in pain, I could hear it in his voice, J."

"A little pain now is better than a lot of pain later" I sniffled.

"Have you told him that? Have you talked to him about how you're feeling?"

I couldn't do anything but shake my head.

"I think you should, but you know who I think you should talk to first?" She lowered her head to come eye to eye with me.

"Who?" My voice cracked.

"I think you should talk to Gina, no one's going to know more about what you're going through than her. She might be able to give you some insight from her experience, I think it would help you a lot" she rubbed my arm soothingly.

"I don't know Bel, I-" I started before she cut me off.

"Listen, you're my best friend. When you hurt, I hurt. You and Evan were meant to be from the very start, from the minute he made you so mad you had to yell at him" she laughed lightly. "And you can't give up, not on him and not on yourself. You need to fight. Not only for what makes you happy but to beat the hell out of this cancer." She started to tear up. "Because I don't know what I would do without you, I don't even want to think of that as a possibility" she started crying.

Seeing her cry switched me into full blown survival mode. She was right. I couldn't just give up, I was going to fight this as hard as I could and when I came out on the other end of it I was going to fight for Buck but I still couldn't bring myself to be able to put him through everything that was to come.

"You're right, I need to fight. I'm going to do my best to beat this cancer...and if that works I'll need to fight to get Buck back"

"You know" she started while placing a comforting hand on my shoulder finally getting control of her sniffles. "You don't have to lose him period"

"Ugh Bel" I breathed. "I just don't think I can do that to him and what if we can't have a baby after everything? I can't deny him of being a daddy"

"Trust me, talk to your brothers wife. Listen to what she has to say before you make any decisions. He's not giving you up easily, that much I know...maybe you shouldn't give him up so easy either" she stood and patted my head. "You're welcome to stay here until you get things figured out, you shouldn't be alone anyways. Now, we both need some sleep"

She kissed the top of my head before walking away. She had a point, I knew Buck wouldn't give up easily he never gave up anything easily. Neither did I for that matter but this was different. His happiness was on the line and right now his happiness was the most important thing to me even though I knew he was hurting right now, it was better for him in the long run.

When I woke up I knew exactly what my next step was. The first thing I knew I had to do was call work and after explaining everything to them, I had a mini vacation set up before either decision I chose to make. I quickly straightened myself up, borrowed some clothes from Annabel and grabbed my keys.

"Bel, I'll be back later honey if I don't see you have fun at work and I'll have tea ready for you when you come home" I called out.

I didn't wait for an answer, I closed the door and walked to my car. I sat in the drivers seat just contemplating for a second, my mind kept going back to Buck and I knew there was one more thing I had to do before I hit the road.

I pulled out my phone and wrote a quick text hitting send before I could change my mind. I threw my phone down on the seat next to me and pulled out of Annabel's driveway ready for my long journey to my parents to tell them the news and to talk with Gina. I was hoping this trip would put a lot of things in perspective.

I kept hoping for the best but every time I took a glance next to me the text I had sent was staring me down and playing with my emotions.

'I will always love you, please remember that'

**sorry this chapters just kind of settling things! They should start getting better, thank you everyone for reading! ❤️❤️❤️**