Idontwannabemeanymore (Jungkook × BTS)

15

Jungkook sits down in front of his phone. He makes sure his face is seen, he makes sure he doesn't look like he spent his day crying alone in his bed room. Once everything is okay, he presses on the red recording button and looks straight at the camera.

"Good evening. I'm doing this video to apologize from the bottom of my heart. I'm aware I've disappointed and hurt many of you. There is no justification for what I did and I understand if you don't want to forgive me. I want you to know that I love you AMRY. And I am really mad at myself for disappointing you. Believe me. I am also very sorry to my hyungs. They deserve everything they get, they are extremely talented, handsome and kind. I was going through some bad period and I took it on them when it was not their fault. Know that I meant none of what I said and I am forever thankful for what you did for me. I am aware that I owe you everything because you made me who I am today." Jungkook pauses because he feels emotion kick in.

His eyes get teary and his voice becomes shaky.

"So please... Don't hate me. This is not who I am. I made a big mistake, I talked without thinking and I let my emotions get the best of me. I regret it more than everything now.  I never meant to hurt anyone. So please... F-forgive me." He cuts the recording real fast before a sob escapes his lips.

He saves the video on his phone and uploads it on twitter.

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The hyungs are chilling in the living room, some are watching TV, some are talking and Namjoon is on his phone.

"Guys. Jungkook posted a video on Twitter. Did you see it ?" He asks.

The others shake their heads and answer "no" as their get closer to Namjoon to take a look at the video on his phone. Namjoon presses on the play button and the video begins.

At the end, most of the hyungs roll their eyes.

"Cool. ARMYs will buy it, forgive him real quick, feel bad because he cried, then we'll act like everything is perfect in front of the cameras and boom. It's settled, everyone will forget that shit and we won't disband. Jungkook is smart on that one." Yoongi says unimpressed.

"Yeah right. I can't help but notice that he only apologizes once he gets exposed. He never apologized to us in person before he got exposed though." Hoseok says, making the others agree with him.

"Right. Let's ignore that and order someting to eat. I'm hungry." Taehyung sighs.

And that's what they do.

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After the video was uploaded, Jungkook who has been crying since then, is thirsty. All that tears shedding kind of made him dehydrated. He also wants a large bowl of fresh air to keep him from thinking too much. As well as a big fat plate of food because only food can help him when he feels this sad and alone and when his hyungs are not with him. He takes a cold shower and gets dressed before getting out of the dorms while the others are chatting and laughing in the living room. Like everything is fucking alright. Well it is for them at least.

He puts his face mask and airpods on before walking in the dark streets of Seoul, alone. He walks sadly, while listening to Nothing Like Us - by Justin Bieber. It is an old song but at the moment he relates so much to it for some reason. Seems like his grumbling stomach is upset too. Therefore, Jungkook decides to head to his favourite restaurant and eat like was going to die tomorrow. As he enters the calm place with subdued lights and a chill cosy atmosphere, he smiles lighty and breaths in the delicious smell of food. It gives him a bit of comfort, which he desperately needs right now.

"Good evening young man what can I get you ?" An old lady welcomes with a warm smile.

"Don't speak. I can tell you need some comfort. Let me just bring you the best meal of the restaurant. It makes people cheer up. You'll love it." She smiles.

"Oh, thank you very much." Jungkook says gratefully.

While waiting for his meal to be prepared, Jungkook musters the courage to go take a look at BTS' Twitter account. He is very anxious because he fears his apology might be rejected. He did it sincerely at least. He just doesn't want his hyungs to pay for his bullshit. They will hate him even more.

Surprisingly enough, the hashtags #WeForgiveYouJungkook and  #WeLoveYouJungkook are trending. He feels so much emotion and internally curses at his inner crybaby for being so emotional. However, not so surprisingly, hate is still present. Way more than usual. He sighs and decides to ignore the hastag #JungkookOutOfBTS. He doesn't need that right now.

"Here you are sweetie, enjoy your meal." The old lady grins widely displaying at least five plates of various food in front of Jungkook.

Jungkook thoroughly thanks her then digs in his dishes right away.

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"Guys go and call Jungkook dinner's here." Seokjin says.

When no one gets up he sighs and goes into Jungkook's room himself. He knocks lightly.

"Jungkook. We're eating come downstairs." He says before turning away.

When he is not answered he turns around and frowns. Is Jungkook still giving him attitude ? Maybe he has earphones on ? He knocks once again and calls Jungkook. Still no answer. He opens the door to see the Maknae's bedroom neatly cleaned and empty.

"What the... Guys !" He calls.

"Did you see Jungkook get out of the house ?" He asks once he got back to the dinning room.

They all shake their heads and keep eating.

"Jungkook's not home. Did he tell one of you he was going somewhere ?" He insists.

The others shake their heads once again and ignore Seokjin's worried expression.

"Calm down hyung, he is a grown ass man, he won't do anything too crazy. He knows that tomorrow the schedule is tight so he'll get home soon." Suga tells Jin.

"Yeah, he must be getting some fresh air." Jimin says without thinking too much of it.

"We shouldn't care to be honest." Namjoon ends up saying.

Seokjin finally sighs and sits down to eat with the others. They are right. Jungkook is not the adventurous type, he'll be back before it gets too late because tomorrow is a really busy day.

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After eating like a king, Jungkook feels a little better. He pays the lady and thanks her before leaving a tip of 100.000₩. The old lady refuses, saying that it is way too much but the younger insists, telling her how much what she did means to him and that he isn't attached to money anyway. So once he said bye to the lovely old woman, Jungkook tries to call his parents but none of them would pick up the phone. He then tries to call his big brother, Junghyun to no avail. He sighs and gets out of the restaurant. He was feeling so good in that restaurant that he didn't even hear the heavy rain and wind outside. He sighs and speed walks to the dorms even though he doesn't have any umbrella or jacket on. Tomorrow the group has to get up early so he gotta be fast.