Idontwannabemeanymore (Jungkook × BTS)

20

A slut.

A dirty slut.

A disappointment.

A cocky little bitch.

An arrogant attention seeker.

The fakest Golden Maknae ever.

An ugly ass whore.

A lonely hoe.

A crying

Man.

Alone in his room, Jungkook doesn't know what to do anymore. He feels empty and numb. Anxious. He is losing the last bits of sanity left in him. What should he do now. Drink ? Take drugs ? Buy some gun and shoot his temple ? Take a knife and stab his own heart ? Go jump from a bridge ? Or maybe... Simply start his diet and work out ? Even though he does not have the emotional strength to do so, he doesn't have a choice either.

He gets up and walks to the nearest gym with a blank face. He will workout. He will do that until no energy is left in his body. Until the pain is unbearable. That's what he deserves for being an atrocious man whore and doing shameful, inappropriate things with his hyung. All of this is his fault for enticing his hyung. He is aware and the hyungs are right. How can he even have the nerves to breathe and be alive after everything he did ? He is a complete trash, an insult to the humankind. How can he even look at himself in the mirror ? No, he can't even do so. He's so chunky and ugly, he's afraid the mirror would break in pieces, just like his mercilessly, hammered, dying heart.

Without realizing it, Jungkook has been running on one of the gym's countless treadmills, non stop for two whole hours. His self-loathing being his first driving force. He pants and collapses on the ground, breathing heavily. He feels dizzy, he feels like crying. His whole body aches. He smirks a little through the tears ; that's his cue to work harder to suffer more and more. He gets back on the very fast running treadmill and tries to keep up with the speed in spite of his worn out body. He starts hyperventilating but keeps running nonetheless until he eventually brutally falls from the engine, his head hitting the grown violently. He yells weakly then holds his aching scalp while inhaling and exhaling heavily. Everything hurts. He gets up shakily and stumbles to the gym's bathroom. He throws up then instantly blacks out.

Please, someone save me, I'm begging...

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"Don't cry Taehyungie... We are here for you okay ?" Jin hugs his dongsaeng.

They are all at the restaurant. The hyungs thought it would be good to cheer Taehyung up after the big confrontation earlier. They all feel so bad for the younger, he had his feelings and his heart set in the fire, thrown in the trashcan. It is so hard to have the courage to get out of the closet in Korea, which has a very homophobic society so Taehyung was extremely brave to confess his feelings to Jungkook. But of course the fucking maknae had to make him feel guilty about that. Not only Jungkook was a complete bitch but he was also an asshole for breaking Taehyung's heart selfishly. This guy definitely got no conscience at all.

"I-I don't wanna see him anymore !" Taehyung sobs as Jimin caresses his back.

"I know we don't wanna see him either but we have to... For Armys, remember ?" Namjoon sighs.

"I swear to God I want him out of the group. He deserves none of what he actually has. I'll fucking go and talk to Bang PD. Armys are right, he shouldn't have so much visibility. Because he's a motherfucking cocky asshole." Hoseok grits.

"You know we can't get him out of the group right ?" Seokjin reminds.

"I know unfortunately." Taehyung sighs sadly.