Idontwannabemeanymore (Jungkook × BTS)

17

The next day, Jungkook wakes up panting. He spent an atrocious night. After an horrible nightmare, he wasn't able to fall back asleep so he just stayed awake and cried because the nightmare was just so sad and scary. He curled up in his blanket trembling and wishing someone would just hug him and tell him that they love him, that everything will be alright but none of this happened. He stayed in his bed like a scared kid until dawn.

He feels himself slipping into a seemingly endless wave of sadness which he desperately tries to fight because he can't be going downhill right now, at the peak of his career. Even though his hyungs don't care about him anymore, some people are still counting on him, ARMYs, his parents, his family. He can't disappoint them, he will do everything he can not to do so, at all cost.

This is exactly what motivates him to get up from his bed and go get ready for the day ahead of him. He can hear his hyungs having breakfast downstairs so he decides to go and freshen up first so he can avoid them, since they will all go get ready after breakfast.

Once he is done and all clean, he walks out of the bathroom and bumps into Jimin and Hoseok who were about to enter the said room. Jimin just ignores him and heads into the bathroom but Hoseok doesn't feel like doing so.

"Yah ! Watch where you're going, fucking idiot." Hoseok spits.

Jungkook resists the urge to roll his eyes and sigh, this shit is getting old. And the older it gets the less it affects him, he's getting numb to the pain. So he just apologizes blankly and walks away. But then again, his hyung has other plans it seems. He harshly grabs his shoulder.

"I'm not fucking done talking to you, you rude ass cunt. Since yesterday you didn't help the others clean the dorm nor did you give a fuck about me being sick, because you were too busy sleeping like the egoistic brat you are, today you will have to do all the chores." He smiles with scorn.

"Okay hyung, I will. Can I go now ?"

"Who the fuck you think you are- I can't believe it." Hoseok chuckles humorlessly.

He simply can't stand how haughty the maknae has become, and it makes him want to make Jungkook suffer so bad. Why doesn't the younger react ? The rapper is surprised by the sudden thought that crossed his mind. Never has he ever thought he would feel that way towards the one he considered his little brother back then. He just stays silent, trying to sort his scary thoughts out. Jungkook just walks away silently.

"You don't care about your hyungs anymore huh ?!" The older finally yells at him.

Jungkook stops in his tracks and looks down, his back still facing his hyung. He does ! He still fucking loves them so much even though they make him feel like... Like dying. Like taking a fucking knife and slash his own throat just to get a little bit of their attention. He can't deal with all the ignoring anymore, it hurts way more than acts and words. Speaking of which why are they stuck in his throat ? Why can't he seem to tell his hyung everything that's on his heart ? He hides his trembling hands and tears come out of his eyes in spite of his desperate attempt to keep them in.

"Hah yeah, that's what I thought. Well guess what, I don't care about you anymore either. And I think the others don't either. Y-you are not our maknae anymore ! Who did you become ? Because to us you're just a stranger. A detestable stranger we don't want to see." He spits, voice laced with anger and hurt.

Today, a murder occurred. Jungkook's heart was mercilessly stabbed by the sharp blades that came out of his hyung's mouth. He tried to tell himself that deep down, there was maybe a tiny bit of hope that his hyungs kept a minuscule spot for him in their hearts. Why is he so dumb ? When did he become such a pathetic attention whore ? Why is he torturing himself with those ridiculous hopes ? Who likes some overrated piece of shit anyways ? It's not like he even was something in the first place. Namjoon was right. He was nothing but an empty and meaningless shell before meeting his hyungs. His hyungs made him. Even today, he would be nothing without BTS, without his big brothers and ARMYs.