Idontwannabemeanymore (Jungkook × BTS)

22

As soon as Jungkook is back to Seoul, he goes to BigHit. He got a lot of things to do so he hurries and gets inside the studio to finish writing his song and record it all alone. He sits down on the desk of an empty studio and gets his copy book and a pen out of his bag. He closes his eyes to get rid of his thoughts then his mind drifts off somewhere, in the depths of his shattered heart, to find words to put on his pain and give it to the whole word as a memory of him.

He finishes his song in less than half an hour, flows of inspiration strangely came to him. He is more than happy about this because this song is by far the most important ever as far as he is concerned. After singing acapella for at least an hour to train his voice, he switches the central computer on and starts setting everything he needs to record his whole song. He finishes the instrumental of the song then sings along to see if it still matches. It matches perfectly so he is reassured.

He spends the whole day at the studio, making his solo song and doesn't see the time flying so fast. It is now 10pm. He sighs and switches everything off once the whole song is perfect to him and ready. He eventually gets ouf BigHit and he is brought home by a taxi. Once he gets home, all of his hyungs are doing a movie night, their eyes are fixed on the big TV screen as they eat some snacks. Jungkook slowly enters the room and asks softly :

"Jinnie hyung? can you help me go in my room ?"

The said one is surprised to hear his dongsaeng's sweet voice talking to him, fluently moreover. He stands up and carries Jungkook to his bed. He can't help but sensing something wrong with the maknae but he keeps quiet and closes the door of the latter's bedroom. Once his hyung is gone, Jungkook unlocks his phone and decides to do some research on it.

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"Guys, he's very weird." Jin states as he enters the living room.

The others look at him unimpressed.

"I mean... When is he not ?" Hoseok asks, shrugging as he eats some chips.

"I don't know don't you feel like something is off today ?"

"Uh... No ?" Taehyung tries to think about it.

"Really I don't see either..." Jimin adds.

"Maybe you're just tired hyung." Namjoon says.

"Yeah I think you're right. Anyways let's keep watching the movie." Seokjin says as he sits next to the others.

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Jungkook is crying in his bed. Once again. You may be tempted to ask why ? Well... He made some research and it made him realize something. It made him remember that he is about to do something that may change so many things- Whatever it is the most suitable solution to him. It is the only solution for the matter.

He would love to see his hyungs celebrate his departure and cheer once they hear the news. It's about time the useless motherfucker who outshines them gets the fuck out of their lives for good. He would also love to see how ARMYs will be relieved that he's no longer here to bring the whole group down. Same goes with all of BTS staff, Bang PD-nim, Sejin hyung, his coach, they all work so hard. They don't deserve their work to be wasted by some incompetent overrated brat.

His loving precious parents don't deserve to live knowing that the burden they gave life to 22 years ago is South Korea's national disgrace. He just needs to stop expecting people to help him with his problems, which are not even worth worrying for. He is nothing but a spoiled drama queen. There is way worse in the world. He is being so selfish. So many people in the world are starving to death, dying because they are poor, no family, no money, no friends, no job. At least he has a roof over his head, a home, money, food, everything one could ask for...Except love.

And just right now, he realizes that he would rather be dead than live without feeling loved and loving in return. Right now, he would rather be at the brink of death from starvation but surrounded by his loving hyungs and family. This makes him want to do something he think he would never have done before. Give his whole fortune to numerous local charities all around the world. He is not attached to money anymore. He'll give all of his very important and personal belongings to his family, and some others to some Korean charities. Finally, the only things he'll give his hyungs is : his diary.

With that being settled, Jungkook decides to call it a night and switch his lights off. For once in so many time, Jungkook dries his tears and falls asleep peacefully.

Everything is almost over...