losing you. || markhyuck

4. l.m.

At the beginning I felt good.

actually more happy about his absence, because otherwise he would just remind me about everything, but now I become slightly anxious.

Taeyong forces me to attend all the meals, as if he fears I wouldn't eat at all, but nobody does it to him.

The last time I had seen more than a short glimpse or silhouette of him has already been two months ago.

He never eats, stays or even talks to us.

The most ironic thing is, that he'd always been the center of the group, who is holding everything together, when anyone is there, he is too. And now it's like he had cut his bonds.

Probably he doesn't come home anymore too, I seriously don't know.

So after lots of contemplating I decide to look after him, not like spying, just to look after him, to see what he does.

Before I go into my room once again I take some energy drinks, coffee and snacks with me, for the case Ill need it.

And actually I'd not been right, around 4AM the door opens and someone enters. I get flashback memories from before, the last time I stayed awake like this.

Suddenly, I'm slightly before sleeping myself, someone steps out of their room, entering the bathroom.

Wouldn't be weird at all, but the person starts to shower at 5:15?

A bad feeling in my stomach tells me that it's him, sleeping for about an hour and now being awake again. Fortunately I don't have to fix myself because one more day with those clothes wouldn't make any difference.

So five minutes after the person, probably him, leaves the apartment, I begin to follow them, running fast to not lose them. And yes I was right, he left.

Walking through the streets I get really curious what the destination could be and as he stops in front of a building, I recognise as our entertainment building, i realise he must have taken a different way than the usual one.

I'm really lucky because he chooses the stairs over the elevator for whatever reason, so I can follow him further.

The floor he then pulled a stop is also quite familiar for me as well, it's the one for either the gym or single practice studios. He goes into one of the rooms on the left side and before I can even react, he steps onto the treadmill and starts moving.

saying that I'm confused would be an understatement, why on earth would he do this at this time with Not a lot of sleep too?

eventually I decide to go out again planning on grabbing some breakfast myself, I'm pretty sure he'll have to attend practice after the sports anyway, so I won't miss anything extraordinary.

Later, while our main break I take a look into their studio, just out of curiosity, expecting them all to be gone, but instead I see donghyuck, practicing some dance moves, while everyone else is either resting or eating.

I'm honestly concerned, why would he skip that?

But I can't, so I do have to get another coffee, a reminder to myself that I haven't slept tonight. And because I run out of time, I have to head back immediately, without looking after him further.

But at the end of the practice I run out of my studio, seeing him leaving right in this exact moment and he goes...

...back to the exercising area?

He doesn't want to....oh he does.

Straight going to the bench now and sometimes switching between the different devices and the equipment.

i feel like a stalker and everyone is judging me as I sit on the floor in front of the gym, leaning against the wall and sometimes glancing inside the room through one of the windows to check if donghyuck is still inside.

It's already 8PM when he finally decides to stop with whatever exhausting he is doing right now, disappears to the changing and showering rooms and leaves the whole area.

But no, he is not going outside of the building again, he walks downstairs to the vocal and mixing rooms and I can see while i hide behind a column how he takes out a card, seemingly  a room card or something and opens a door at the end of the hallway and goes inside.

And stays there.

I don't know what he is doing inside, because there is no glass or anything and the walls are exactly for recording and vocalisations so there are no sounds coming out.

I sit there again and regret my decision to spy him and suddenly nearly get caught because he randomly steps outside, walks downstairs, but before the time passed by for me to follow him secretly, he is upstairs again, holding something from a delivery service and walks straight inside the room again. I'm hungry as well and really have to hold myself back, to not go home or anywhere and stay still.

I haven't noticed I fell asleep but I wake up at 3AM because I have to use the bathroom. I'm slightly scared he already went home, but I decide to stay anyways, because he just came at 4AM yesterday.

And I am lucky because at point 4 the door opens and he walks out and right to our dorm. Because it's to late anyways, i just don't sleep and wait until his next action, which is expectedly showering at the same time as yesterday and leaving the dorm and I'm pretty sure he will do the same again.

I have no idea what the fuck he is doing but its sick.

The routine I just watched was basically only exercising and doing whatever in this room, while sleeping 2 hours a day.

He has a serious problem, I'm sure.