losing you. || markhyuck

2.

"Or do you remember our last date? It was so amazing."

"Did you really get johnny playing our chauffeur? You're really crazy." He laughs loudly and takes a seat.

We stop at yutas house and I lead him upstairs.

We reach the rooftop, where I prepared a tent with yutas help.

He screams in awe. "Oh my God mark that is amazing! Where do you get these ideas from?"

I laugh as an answer and we go inside. The tent is filled with blankets and pillows and I prepared some snacks too.

"You wanna watch a movie?" I point at the mini projector and he nods eagerly.

We lie cuddled inside the tent, watching any netflix movie he decided and I'm genuinely happy.

"Donghyuck?"

"Yeah?" He stops playing with my hair and turns his head towards me

"I love you."

A smile comes across his face, lights up his eyes and he bows forward, he whispers "I do too" and his lips fall slowly on mine.

The soft touch drives my crazy and I realize I don't want to let him ever go and want to spend my entire life with him.

"You're the most perfect person I got to know. I'm sorry I hurted you all the time. That was actually the worst part. Not the sickness, no, being apart of you. But I didn't want you to got through this all as well. I forced to many people to and couldn't stand to let you too. I hope you will understand and wont be mad at me forever. I hope I got to tell you in person. I love you. "

everything starts to break out of me and I begin shaking "you idiot could've told me! I spent your last time trying to hate you! I could've helped you going through it! I love you too of course. I have never stopped."

Kun is patting my shoulder and pulls me in a hug and I hug back.

I would've died for donghyuck if that would mean he could make it through.

And i know kun would've too.

Someone starts the video again and donghyuck starts to explain the circumstances.

"Well where should i start. Probably a half year ago. I went to a checkup and they told me my bloodworths were bad. They sent it to a lab and well the results were clear. Chronic leukaemia. Seems like I had it for years without noticing and am in the final stadium now. Not able to heal."

He smiles sad once again "every week another appointment, pills over pills for nothing."

And I've never noticed. I'm such a bad person.

"Then I broke up with mark. I told kun first, because I know he would support me anyways. Johnny however tried to convince me otherwise as he was told while a visit. He also forced me to go there and take the medics. I just did when he was there. I started doing everything my doctor forbid me to do. Working out. Eating unhealthy. Stopped sleeping. I guess I felt kind of power? The only thing I could decide over me anymore. Mark made it harder. He wrote cute letters, tried everything to get me back, but I just couldn't do this to him, so I rejected him, inventing an excuse, a boyfriend. And who was the first person coming to my mind? Oh Kun. I'm sorry again for always pulling you into my problems."

The latter shakes his head and whispers a it's fine.

"After I told mark, I could finally avoid him, but then I noticed him searching through my stuff and realized I had to go before he could find something."

It's my fault he went away and wasted the last time he had

"I went to my family, spending time with them and saying goodbye. Then I came back, and moved into the way 2 go dorm. I cancelled the contract, told the fans, but then something unexpected happened. Well actually not, but still shocking. The symptoms began to start, and the first people to notice. In other words, I'm sorry you had to see this yangyang."

I heard a sob from a younger boy and felt immediately bad for him.

"After it got worse and worse I moved to johnny. And that's where I am now."

He looks around the room and frowns, thinking about what to say next.

"I made a deal with the company. Nobody's gonna know what happened to me. The only people who know are them, my family and you. Everyone else just thinks I withdrew into the private. And I would appreciate If it would stay like this. Today is a good day, so I decided to film this. Please don't forget me."

This words make everyone cry again, also seeing his weak and empty eyes, bloodshot.

"I love you all."

Another tear rolls down his face and with it a small stain of blood out of his nose.

He seems to not notice it and tries to hold back his tears but it gets more and more, dripping down on his shirt, leaving huge stains, sticking on his chin and neck and soon he is full covered.

He then notes it and looks terrified at the camera, standing up with wobbling legs and walks toward the device.

The lense is covered with his shirt, leaving red stripes while he is struggling with turning the camera off.

Then the screen goes black.

Damn.

That's a thing.

Everything makes sence now.

The weird boyfriend story with kun and the sudden breakup.

But he should've told me.

It hurts to know how johnny and kun helped him and I was sitting at home, drinking and cursing him.

But atleast the other members except ten, seem to have been as unaware as me.

He's too precious, for trying to hide it from me, just that I won't feel bad, even it concludes the whole opposite, but his intentions were good at all.

And I miss him.

My sunshine.

My reason to stay and to live.

And i have honestly no idea how i should survive without him.