losing you. || markhyuck

4. d.h.

Oh man, johnny is doing telephone terror right now.

He calls me at least twice a day, just to ask if I'm 'okay' or he makes up stupid excuses just to call.

I answer once again, really annoyed "What do you want now johnny? You want to know what time is it, or what I ate for dinner?" 

"Haha, no need to be so ironic. Have you finally spoken to mark?"

"No why?"

"You know why. But okay, you decide. Did you do what your doctor said?"

"The fuck doesn't change anything anyways."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't try at least. Or do you want..."

"Yes maybe I do!..."

"Stop with it, you know i don't like it."

"yes I know, I'm sorry. "

"Okay then goodbye for now. Love you."

"Me too. Bye"

I feel bad, because I know he just worries about me, but I can't help it.

Suddenly I hear a weird noise outside and as I look there, it's fucking mark lee.

"Do you want something?" Just being rude. That's the key.

"n-no I was on the way to the kitchen."

"Well then go ahead." Help he looks so cute now, I want to hug him and tell him that I love him.

But I obviously don't do it.

Hopefully he didn't overhear anything about the conversation earlier, he would just ask to many questions.

Also I'm pretty aware of my daily program now and it really shows, because of how my body adapted on the situation,

I feel more not tired and fresh every day, so therefore I have to admit, I was a bit grumpy when the dance teacher announced we will set the practice on a later timing.

I now have to change everything again and I really don't have the time for this.

I'm not sure about the reason though, but probably overlapping with other idol groups or stuff.

All of sudden latter storms inside, completely out of breath "Sorry, I got a call right now and I have an important appointment later, so I wanted to ask if it's fine for you to skip the break and stop earlier for today?" He looks really lost and desperate so we all agree.

Actually its much better for me too, so I'm kind of glad this has happened.

The only problem is how exhausting this dancing is without a break.

I'm failing on the steps the whole time through and feel weaker with every step.

Jaehyun seems to not care, or at least he doesn't show it, while ten is pissed as fuck, even dancing is his usual passion.

Finally the shit is over and I storm into the door and then into my room.

What the...?

"What the heck do you think are you doing?"

No, no, no he can't do this to me.

"Ehm I just...."

If he found something....probably the medics in the trash...or worse the article...

"You just what? Searching through other peoples stuff? Go the fuck out of here before I forget myself."

I would never hurt him, ironic because I already did, but i can't physical at least.

But if he found something...

....damn I'm screwed up.

What shall I do?

I don't think hiding will work out though.

Oh my god I'm dumb. The solution is so obvious I can't believe I didn't think earlier about it.

I take the trolley out of the closet and begin to stuff it with random things I want to take with me.

Mostly memorabilia, I can always buy new clothes. My favourite llama plushie, as well as some photo albums and framed pictures take place inside.

Also the small bag of things which remember me of mark or have something in common with him. I banned it under my bed, but honestly I dont have the heart to leave it.

Slowly but certain the luggage starts to get full until the top and I'm pleased with the amount of things I'll take with me, so I close the locks.

0208 Mark's birthday.

Stupid, right?

Then I write a little note to ten.

Hey ten, I'm leaving for now. Don't search me. I would appreciate if you wouldnt tell anyone, just taeyong if he really forces you to. Call me if there's something important. Love d.h.

And I walk out of this shitty dorm, with this people I care about inside.

I walk directly to the train station, checking out the different rides and buy a ticket.

Fortunately, the luck seems to be on my side for now, my train arrives within 10 minutes and I can take a direct one to my destination.

The whole ride takes way too long for my pleasure, but I reach it in around 2 and a half hours. I head into a special street and stay then in front of a door.

I arrived.

I'm home now.

Damn, I'm already annoyed.

I've only been here for a week, but I want to leave again.

Sure it's so fucking great to see my family again, I can't say I didn't miss them, but nobody knows the world private space.

When my mom doesn't ask for help, jaemin and jisung want to play videogames, help with homework, like why would they ask me though, or every single neighbour who lives in this village comes to visit me as I came back.

"Mom?"

"Yes honey? " she suddenly appears in front of the staircase and scares me to death.

"I have to talk to you."

"You want to go back home?" She guesses and smiles sweetly "it's fine, I actually expected you to way earlier."

The heavy feeling in my heart fades and I'm relieved. "O-okay. Well then. I'll take the train this evening."

"Alright. But say a proper goodbye to jaemin and jisung, they will be mad if not." She goes back to the kitchen, doing whatever she does there.

I already told my dad too, he had to head to work this morning and he also supported me.

So I just have to tell my brother the news.

As I expected they didn't take it too good and are kind of pissed now.

I know I'm a bad brother, I left them way to early and have never been there for them.

But sometimes you have to set priorities right?