Scars of mind and heart (Klance)

Chapter 19

His gaze was going weary over to Haggar. She wanted to visit Lotor and it seemed that the two made amends, but he was still scared of her. Maybe this was why he was latching onto Keith in fear. It was just that he really wasn't comfortable with her being near them.

"I wanted to apologize." Haggar turned her attention to him after he heard her say this. His mouth opened but nothing wanted to escape, and Keith was pulling him a bit closer.

"I apologize about Lance. It will take a while before he will even remotely trust you with everything that had happened between you two." Keith said calmly but there was a warning in his eyes. It was obvious that the male would do everything to protect him.

"I can tell, and I will try my best to show that I have changed and gain the trust back." She promised and her eyes showed not the evil glint she held but he still felt intimidated by her.

Keith nodded and there was now a talk about what they're next move would be, but he zoned out. It was something that usually happened when he was overwhelmed like right now. That was why Keith excused them and him carrying Lance around as he latches like a Koala onto the other.

They ended up cuddling in their room and he relaxed more. There was nothing said, and it wasn't needed to. Both had eye contact for a moment before he kissed the male on the lips. It was returned instantly. They switched places and now he was under Keith.

The male started to kiss his collar bone. Which resulted in a stiffen first but soon he relaxed. Keith glanced up as he starting to suck, and he felt an electric feeling going through his body. It wasn't the kind of bad one, but his breath hitched slightly in surprise.

"Color?" Keith asked softy and voice was deeper than usual.

"Gr-Green." He softly said and Keith continued. He continued and soon they had to stop because him ending up uncomfortable. It made him feel bad because he wanted to but it was a bit too much. They ended up cuddling in the end.

.

.

.

His gaze was going on his collar bone who had now a few hickeys. He touched them and taking a deep breath. This was a new thing for him, and he was conflicted as he felt also dirty. It was a new, but he also felt proud that they managed to get a step further. Yet he couldn't help but feel like this.

A confliction was felt, and he growled out as punching the mirror. As instantly regretting that action when he felt the stinging sensation and something thick yet sticky roll down. He tsk as starting to take care of his wounds and trying to think of a way to explain this. God he was getting questioned later on.

Maybe this was why he holed himself in his old room, as well as locking it. There was just no way that he could show himself after this. He felt ashamed at himself and guilty that he felt like this. It was healthy to do this, but he couldn't stop himself. He spiraled down and, in his frustration, he started to do something that he hadn't done in a while...

.

.

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Self -harm. This was so not good, and he was pretty sure that this will end up in a long talk about getting back to this habit. It was just that he couldn't help himself. It was deep engraved sometimes, and he felt even worse now. This was so not good and not even after Keith knocked on the door, had he opened it.

"Hey, can you open for me, please?" Keith asked softly once again. It had been a few hours later and he stayed silent.

"I guess this is my fault. I pushed you over the edge, didn't I?" Keith said softly and he felt his heart tug in guilt more. Never had he wanted to hurt the male, yet he done. He was the worst boyfriend ever. The worst Omega ever and he was feeling a lump in his throat.

"You're probably regretting it now. Regretting that we are together." It was said bitterly, and he gasp as deciding to sit in front of the door.

"No, it's not you but me." He said softly with a sigh added to it. There was a pause and he was sure that Keith was thinking about his words.

"How about you tell me? You don't have to open the door but talk to me, please." It was said pleadingly, and he took a deep breath feeling even guiltier.

"I ended up doing something that I regret, and I am a bad Omega. I promised you not to do it again, but I still did. I don't deserve you." His voice was soft yet regretful. There was as well guilt heard as well.

"What? No. Never." Was Keith's fast reply and he felt his heart tug in relieve, knowing that Keith wasn't seeing him as a bad Omega.

"I knew from the start of this relationship that we won't have it easy. That we will need time and effort. I am not perfect either and I am not mad but a bit disappointed in you. But I get it and that is why I need to know why you do it again." It was firmly said, and a part of his Alpha voice slipped out. Not that he minded because this was something that he would have not talked about. It was unintentional and he knew that he should talk about it. His Omega didn't like it when he doesn't please his Alpha. That was why he knew that he had to talk about it.

"Seeing the hickeys made me feel dirty and it felt wrong yet right. I-I know it is wrong to think like this, but I was frustrated, confused and conflicted with myself. Punched the mirror and ended up hurting my hand in the process. One bad thought started made me go spiraling and this was why I ended up..." He swallowed and unlocking the door.

But not opening it. His body stayed sitting there, arms hugging his legs and he felt like the worst person ever. It was less than a minute that the door got slowly opened. Keith stayed silent and then pulling him into a hug. There was a stiffen before he relaxed and apologizing over and over. The male shushed him softly and whispering positive affirmation. It was making him feel just more guilty. He even started to cry into the chest of the male. It took a few minutes for him to calm down, they even moved to his old bed. His body curled in the side and he felt a hand going soothingly through his hair.

"I had that thought as well but I also was proud that we went that far. It was a new step and I am grateful that you trusted me." Keith said softly and with full adoration.

"Of course, I trust you. I am sorry. I really shouldn't have holed myself in here and I did feel proud as well. Because we did go a step further. Um, you mind we wait again?" He said softly and Keith gave him a soft look before saying,

"Of course, hun. I wouldn't do something that you don't like." Keith said softly and he was relieved at this.

"I know. I guess I am still broken heh?" His voice cracked and this reminded him once again how broken he still was. Yet his boyfriend stayed with him. Stayed even after he heard about his past. They might argue from time to time, but he knew that he could always lean on him. Even when they are made fast up. Both need each other and he knew this.

"But you are the glue and with you I feel less broken. I am thankful for that and I can't thank you enough." Lance softly said as looking straight into the eyes he loved so dearly.

"God you're being a sap again." A groan was coming from Keith and he couldn't help but chuckle because he knew that his boyfriend was embarrassed about his words.

"I am your sap and you love it when I am being sappy." His voice was cheeky, and the male flushed more, and he grinned at this.

"You-" The male spluttered and couldn't even say something and put his forehead on his shoulder and he couldn't help but smile softly.

"I know, you aren't good with words or more like with flirting but I can't help it." He said cheerful and the other let out another groan.

"You have no idea how much you're making my feelings get out of hand." Keith looked up and his breath hitched for a moment when seeing the adorning look, he received.

"God, I love you so fucking much." His voice was barely audible, but he was sure that Keith heard, and his hand was taken into the others and a kiss given on top of it.

"See your being a sap again and I love you for it." Keith grinned bright and he was sure that whatever happens, everything will turn out just fine.