Insatiable an appetite [Freddie Mercury FanFiction]

"Fred, what are you doing? What is this?"

First of September and not a single word has been exchanged between me and Freddie, not even a sound.

I've been supporting the other lads, but it's been hard seeing as I still work as a bloody cleaning lady at trident. It's been hard because as much as I wanted to stop by every single day, when they were at trident, I couldn't.

The few times I did, Freddie complained about me being there or discretely made a comment about me. So I decided to only stop by when he wasn't around, because I was too mad at him plus I wouldn't want to ruin their sessions.

 "Hey stranger" Roger smiles and pulls me in for a hug. Ever since I told him about the miscarriage, he's basically taken me under his wings.

He's been so supportive and so has Chrissie. I assume she told Brian that told John, but I honestly didn't care. It was now in the past, I wanted to move on.

"Will you join us for dinner tonight?" Roger asked as he squeezed me.

"I don't think that's a good idea Rog" I mumbled and sighed. He knows that I'd prefer not to be around Freddie but he still pushed me and him together. As much as I still am in love with him, I need to move on. I made a mess out of everything, wasn't honest, which caused to certain episodes to happen.

He sent me a careful smile and nodded his head once. 

"Come on blondie, we need you here, believe it or not" I heard Freddie shout as he sticked his head out of the room 6 door. The look on his face when he saw me, broke my heart. In fact, every time our eyes met, I felt like my whole world was crumbling down.

I felt my eyes starting to water, so I decided to look away. I sniffed and looked down at the ugly carpet. "Sorry Em, talk to you later" Roger said, kissed my cheek and ran in to the others. When I looked up again, thinking I was alone I dried one tear that had escaped my eye away, but saw Freddie was still at the door looking at me.

Our eyes met again and I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I sobbed, turned my back to him and walked away. 

"Em" I heard him say, but ignored him. I wanted to run back in his arms but I couldn't. 

I sat down at the couch by the cleaning room and let out a big sigh. How am I ever going to move on from this? I need to find a new job, maybe I can ask the shelter if they have a spot open for me. 

Roger had told me to move in with him, but I felt weird accepting that offer, plus I were still fostering the cats.

I looked up at the big clock and decided to go home. I had 10 minutes left of the shift but didn't care any longer. If I got fired, then whatever.

It was super late when I got home to my tiny flat, so I decided to head to bed. 

****

The next morning was no different from the other mornings, the past many months. I woke up from a nightmare and covered in sweat. I sat up in my bed and tried to relax. I must've slept only few hours since the sun just started to light up my room.

I sighed, got up from bed and waltzed out to the shower. Once again I got my daily panic attack but managed to control it with deep breaths and cold water. 

The phone began to ring, I took my bathrobe on and walked with heavy steps towards the ringing phone. 

"Hello" I mumbled and leaned up against the wall.

"Hello Emma! We've got a guy wanting to adopt the cats. I scheduled a time with him and wanted to run it by you before I confirm it. Are you free at 10am?" a voice said way too fast and I tried to make sense of it.