Insatiable an appetite [Freddie Mercury FanFiction]

"It's gonna be okay Em. I promise"

It's been a week since the cats got picked up and I haven't even been at work. The depression hit me hard and all I've done is to sit at home, pushing everyone away while trying to fight my own head.

I should really get a cat. Or a dog. 

I looked around my flat and noticed how messy it was. You could tell how much of a mess I was, by just looking around my place. I don't think it's ever been this chaotic and I feel embarrassed. Luckily no one had been stopping by, only Roger and Chrissie had called a few times. I didn't pick up, if I did, I knew I'd break down and I just cannot deal with that right now.

Roger had left a message saying he was worried about me and just wanted to say hi. I didn't call back and that was 3 days ago. I should probably give him a call, before he randomly stops by. 

I sighed, emptied my mug in the sink, the tea had gone cold now and I forced myself over to the fridge. As I opened it, I realised that it was pretty much empty, only milk, butter and a glass of yoghurt was there. Annoyed, I closed the fridge door and decided that I'd save the yoghurt for later. I wasn't that hungry anyways.

I walked back to the couch and jumped down. The flat was quite cold, but that doesn't faze me. Plus it's too expensive to turn the heat on anyways, so I'd just have to deal with it.

I pulled a blanket over me as I started to shiver. I felt another panic attack was about to start and I just let it happen. I was too weak to fight it.

Heart started to pound faster, vision was blurry, I was extremely dizzy and felt I was about to get sick. Luckily I could hold it in me this time, which was a victory. Normally I'd be running out to the toilet and pass out there.

I sighed and after a few minutes, it was over. 

As I heard few knocks on the door, I hid myself under the blanket and ignored it.

"Em?" I heard Roger shout as he continued knocking.

"Emma come on, I know you're in there" 

"I'm not home" I shouted back and rolled over on the other side so I was facing the back of the sofa.

"Fine, you're leaving me no choice" he cried and knocked the door open. "Oh shit" I heard him murmur as I assume he saw how much of a mess my flat was. I sighed and kept myself under the blanket.

"Emma for fuck sake, get up" he exclaimed and I heard him sigh deeply.

"I didn't know it was this bad" he whispered to himself. 

"Go away" I mumbled and tried to ignore his little sighs. 

"He's such a fucking twat" Roger exclaimed and I heard him punch the wall. His violent reaction got me to pull the blanket down and sit up in the couch. "Rog, what are you doing" I whispered and rubbed my eyes.

"You look awful" he cried and walked over to me.

"Why thank you Rog, you always know how to cheer me up" I sarcastically said as I crossed my arms. "Emma come stay with me. I might not be home every day, but at least then I can keep an eye on you. Shannon asked me earlier if I had been talking to you, she's very concerned" Roger kept talking and I honestly didn't hear a word, it was all such a mess.

"So what are you saying?" He asked, started to tap his feet at the ground and looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"I'm sorry, what?" I said with a tired voice and yawned.

"I said come back to my place and stay. For a while. Didn't you hear a word I just said?" he said and sounded kinda annoyed.

"Roger I'm fine" I laughed and waved my arms around. "I'm just a little.. Tired that's all" I added and smiled at him.