Online Diary

8/23/20

Hehe 23 nice

General Update: I've started school! It's been good so far, but I'm not looking forwards to actually doing stuff in class :') I like my teachers, I think.

The reason I'm making an entry: I want a snake.

I! Want!! A snake!!! I want something to love and take care of!! They are so cute and pure!!!

I should wait until I get my own place to get a snake. It's not like I can bring my snake to college when I go, and my mom wouldn't want to take care of a snake for 4+ years.

I don't want to wait that long. Let's say I graduated at 18. Maybe I take a gap year, maybe I go straight to college. When I graduate a four year college (assuming I don't choose anything longer) I'll be 22 or 23.  By then, I'll be a standard broke young adult in a failing economy in a country that's going to ruins. It will be stressful. I will have a job. I will have to live someplace. Even if I'm magically able to afford my own place, I certainly won't be in the spot to be able to take care of another breathing creature, much less a baby snake that has to be handled every day. So let's say I get my life together in 2 years (it would be a miracle). I'd be 24-25. That is over 10 years!! I don't want to wait 10 years to have a snake to love!!

I just want to love something, be it a pet, my friends, or a girlfriend. I have access to 1/3 of those: my cats. Every other week. I am sad :( Like, not in a 'haha im so sad' kinda way, more like in a 'I need a therapist' kinda way.

By the way, I'm meeting my therapist on Wednesday. Fun! Her name is Mary. Apparently.

So yeah! I want many things: 1) A snake 2) A girlfriend 3) To cry 4) to be able to talk and be with my friends 5) Someone to talk about my feelings with (Mary, hopefully)

It's funny, I've never really wanted a girlfriend until recently. Like, I'm too young for that first off, but also it's just been like 'yeah I'll have a girlfriend eventually' but now I want one. I think it's because I'm attention/touch starved and in a bad mental state, but, ya know..

ooh! exciting news! I got two new games recently: Journey and Hollow Knight. I like both so far!

So, back to school! I'm taking Creative Writing, which I'm most excited about!! It will help my writing skills, so I'm happy :)

In other exciting news, I got all the aspects for my outfit for my dad's wedding! I got a nice dress shirt, a black skirt, and some shoes :) I kinda look like a victorian school teacher, but that's alright. I don't mind.

Okay, I'm going to go back to crying! Have a good day/night :)

Luv you <3