final hour • a sequel to assured liar

XVII

I snapped back round to Jaina who was still fighting what looked like a smile.

"You knew she was looking."

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‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　talk　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

I felt like I'd just made myself feel guilty for something that I didn't even trigger. We haven't even done anything intimate together and my happiness melted away to nothing, my bad words and thoughts blowing as ashes in the wind.

I was pissed.

At myself (and Jaina mostly). I hadn't had the chance to talk to Anj since she saw what she did- I didn't get the chance to explain that it was one sided and I was just as surprised as she was.

I was guilty.

Toxic guilt was eating and pestering me. A fire burned in my mind and throat. Pity and embarrassment hit me like a sledgehammer and grounded me into the ground. I could feel daggers aiming at me from within the crowd.

I searched the room desperately looking to where those daggers would come from. And when my eyes lay upon Anj I could see her jerk her head to the ground.

She was bothered- obviously - and i was embarrassed and disappointed in myself for being so stupid and immature. I hadn't spoken to Jaina since she smacked her lips against mine.

"You dipped looooow Mya" Kam came up to my side with her usual enthusiasm. She slapped her hand on my back with a mock support and hung her head low with a subtle laugh.

"Jaina? I mean, really" I tilted my head to the side to look at Kam. She was laughing, shaking her head with disbelief.

"I didn't kiss back" I needed to make that clear.

"I know that," Kam shrugged then turned slightly to the right, lowering her voice to a whisper in my ear and pointed in Anja's direction.

"I don't think she knows that"

I looked back to Kam who shrugged like it was obvious, I followed her as we moved to the back on the mess hall.

"What do I do" I questioned my friend who always seemed to have an answer for something and 9 times out of 10 it was good.

"What can you do huh?"

"Talk to her" Kam strained to lean over to a counter and picked up 2 trays. There's something about women- we all have strong grips in our hands and fingers.

"She won't wanna listen" I mumbled, grabbing onto the tray that Kam passed to me.

"I can't be her only friend"

"What is it with the 'friend' thing you all act as if we are dating" I scoffed out a laugh, sneaking a quick look up at Anj who was playing her food, her hair acting as a curtain between us.

"Well" Kam pressed her lips into a tight line, choking on a laugh childishly. I crossed my arms as she bit her fist, trying to stop herself from spitting out. I arched my brow, it was like watching a child.