A life where you don't take any risk is a life to regret in the future. No one wants to be selfish but sometimes it's okay to do what benefits you only. Alana Pierre knows that once you submit anything, it's almost impossible to take it back so inst...
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LANA
vain•glo•ry /vān,glôrē,, vān'glôrē/ n. inordinate pride in oneself or one's achievement; excessive vanity.
Running away was the easiest and best decision I made for myself. Going from my quiet and adequate life in New York to a life full on exposure and complications in California was where I went wrong. I should have stayed at my gallery where I was happy, yet I chose to be part of other people happiness instead. I wanted to be there with Ginger, I did miss seeing her everyday, but it was not what was best for me. I never thought the person I least wanted to speak to, was the only person I could trust to help me get back my vainglory.
When I first knocked on their door, holding two cages with cats in them and carrying a bag on my back, I didn't expect for them to be so welcoming. It took a while for everyone to fully adjust to me and the same vice versus. I went years without being around them and barely speaking to them but they were all still so happy to see me. It made me feel bad for holding a grudge for so long and the fact that they actually understood why made me feel like the worst person ever. Yet, there I was, back at the one place I told people I'd never go because I knew it was the one place people wouldn't come looking for me at. The best part of it all was that now, I sort of had a good relationship with my father.
They had saw all of these blogs and videos about me prior to me knocking on their door. Amanda told me that my dad was so worried that it was the most he's ever checked social media. That's probably why they were so happy to see me when they opened that door. My dad had a million questions and even tried to call Jules so the whole family could be together but I warned him not to. If Jules knew where I was, he'd eventually tell Ginger and I didn't realize want that. Hell, if I was to hop on the phone Ginger, I'd probably end up telling her my location as well which is why I made the decision to block everyone in California. Though I miss them all so much, that city was the main cause of my pain.
During the first week I was away, I prayed they they all understood why I had to leave. So many things were getting out of control. I was breaking rules I never even intended to and the fear of losing myself to a lifestyle I didn't even belong in. After that week, my father wouldn't allow me to feel bad about myself anymore. He made me go to work with him and help out with the kids in the neighborhood. Seeing all of those children and teens look up my father made me want to do the same. So I decided to open up to him about everything. About my mother, about Amanda and Jessica, and even about Waylon.
My dad didn't think I had a legit reason to runaway and explain that running away had always been my coping mechanism. Apparently I got it from my mother. We never really met any of my mother's side of the family and it was because she stopped talking to them to run off to be with my father. They were judgmental and also didn't support of dream of being an artist so as soon as she found out she was pregnant with Jules, they got married and my mom moved in with my father. They were each other's crutches and my father even cried reminiscing about her. It was a beautiful breakthrough moment for us and now I cans ay that we had a decent relationship after more than ten years of hating him.
