FORBIDDEN FEELINGS

Chapter 1- The real world

Just note that there is a few swear words throughout this fan fiction!

It's the last day of summer before I go back to my boring public school with stupid teachers who push us students way too hard just so we can get our GCSE's which will get us a job that 90% of us probably don't even want. I'm so behind on lessons and I haven't even opened a single book since last day of school which seems like a lifetime ago. All I've been doing this summer is house parties every week (I know I'm only 13 but a girls gotta live) , hanging out with my mates and spending time with my boyfriend, Mikey.

Mikey is a lightskin and very sweet and handsome. He's a bit too clingy but at least I know he loves me. I'm not very clingy, must admit. But I do love the attention. Mikey and I have been dating for 6 months now and people assume we've done sexual things but we're 13 for gods sake! The most we do is kiss. I'm turning 14 at the end of September and my best friend Sarah thinks that's when we're going to do stuff. But what?!!! I can't imagine Mikey considering it as we've never got onto that subject. He's a Christian and his parents waited until after marriage so I guess he would follow in their footsteps which I'm not sure about as I would want to do stuff when I turn 16.

My dad is a businessman and he takes things very seriously. My mom, on the other hand, works at Tesco and she's chilled about everything I do. My parents get into arguments a lot! My mom lets me do things like go to parties and see my boyfriend but if it was up to my dad I'd be in my bedroom studying. Thankfully my dad's so busy he's never really around to choose what I do. I prefer my mom to my dad.

I live in a rough city called Birmingham but in quite a posh part of it. We have a three-bedroom house and it's really nice and decorated inside. My mom has OCD so everything's neat which I like. But my room is kind of the opposite. My mom rarely comes in because she thinks she'll have a heart attack. My clothes are all over the floor, makeup all on my desk and I occasionally make my bed. Yeah. I'm kind of a mess. I'm really into music and I like to make my own dances as I'm the head cheerleader at school and make all the choreography.

I'm sat on Mikey's bed with 'Gansta paradise' playing silently in the corner of his room.

"I've had such a good summer with ya' Jessa. Can't wait to have a great year back at school too" Mikey says as he kisses my cheek. I nod with a slight smile. "Me too" I reply, blankly.

"I just wish I could cuddle with you for the rest of my life" he continues.

For god's sake. He's reached his maximum level of cringe. I laugh awkwardly and stand up.

"Is everything alright, babe?" he asks in his Brummie accent.

"Yeah, I just need to go to the bathroom" I reply as I walk out into the hall. My Nokia starts vibrating in my pocket. I quickly get it out and I see my dad is ringing me. "Shit" I whisper to myself as I suddenly swing open Mikey's bedroom door and say "I have to go"

"Why?" he asks.

"My dad's calling. Probably going to have a go at me when I get back"

"Aw shit then. I'll get my mom to pick you up tomorrow morning for school then, yeah?"

I nod and walk out, sweating, knowing my dad is going to be furious with me for absolutely no reason.

As I start walking home, I begin to breathe heavily as I feel anxious but I'm not sure why. Suddenly I see a grown man in a van cat calling me as he drives past which causes me to feel extremely uncomfortable which also adds onto my anxiety.

I finally reach my house and I take a deep breath before opening the door but to my surprise my dad opens it quicker than I can. He looks very angry. Angrier than he's ever looked. He grabs me by my forearm and drags me into the kitchen and throws me onto a chair, so he can talk above me, ugh. He always does this.

He points his finger as he shouts, "Where the FUCK have you been?"

"At my boyfriends" I mutter under my breath.

"What? Raise your voice woman, I can't hear you"

"At. My. Boyfriends" I reply in a rude tone.

"Since when were you allowed to go to his whenever you want?"

"Since mom let me"

"Oh please, give a rest will ya'. Your mom can't control you, I can though, as I'm the man of the house. I make the rules. So I've decided that you are grounded for a month, no phone, no boyfriend, no parties, only studying for your exams"

I gasp in shock. How dare he be so sexist and controlling over me. This makes me incredibly angry.

"What! Are you taking the fucking piss? I'm literally going into year nine, dad. I have two bloody years to study!"

This causes my dad to lower his eyebrows and scream "How DARE you speak to your father like that!" he gets his right hand and slaps it forcefully across my face. Ouch. I burst into tears and grab the side of my face where he had hit me. I stand up to leave the room, but he guards the door.

"You are not leaving this room until you have apologised to your father!" he yells at me.

"I will NEVER ever apologise to you"

"I beg your pardon"

"I hate you"

"What?"

I feel a strong tension running through the whole of my body.

"I hate you" I repeat but louder this time.

"Excuse me"

"I HATE you"

"Can't exactly hear you, madam"

The tension gets higher and higher as I feel like I'm literally going to explode.

"I hate you SO MUCH"

"One more time dear"

"I HATE YOU!!!!" I scream. All of a sudden, I hear a massive crash coming from behind me as the tension leaves my body. The worried expression on my dad's face tells me that somethings not right. I turn around slowly, and my dad pushes me out the way. He looks stressed and starts whimpering as every single piece of glass in this kitchen is smashed. The windows, the glasses, the cabinets, the clock, the plates and even the light bulb.

My dad turns around, furiously and says "You" he steps closer to me "You did this".

I gasp "What? How would I have done this?"

"Well I certainly didn't do it, so it must've been you. You're going to pay for this"

I quickly pull open the door and sprint up to my room as my dad is chasing after me. I manage to get into my room and lock the door before he could catch up. I lean against the door and slide down until I'm sat on the floor, crying into my knees. He is banging on the door, telling me to open up. I stand up and sit against the headboard of my unmade bed. I pull my phone out and see that I've had 10 missed calls from Mikey in the last 10 minutes. For fucks sake! Leave me alone!

I hate it here. I just want to go somewhere far far far away. I don't want a clingy boyfriend. I don't want to be the popular girl anymore. And I certainly don't want to be anywhere near my dad. I just want a small group of real friends who actually care about me and not just because of my popularity.