FORBIDDEN FEELINGS

Chapter 15- I feel sick

I try to cover up the dark circles under my eyes as I am falling asleep. I feel sick and tired all day and people are giving me looks because I look like I've been punched in the face.

I have Muggle Studies with Malfoy last period and I sleep the whole lesson. I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I hear Malfoy's voice whisper "Carter? You awake?". I lift my head up slowly. Did I really just sleep the whole lesson?

"The lesson's over, get up" Malfoy says, pushing me. I rub my eyes and stand up. He looks at me and winks. I shake my head, so he gives me a dirty look and walks off.

At dinner I feel so sick because Mikey's still on my mind. The moment in sex ed class keeps replaying in my head. Is that a good or bad thing? Well it's bad because I have a boyfriend. But it's good because it was a great feeling.

After dinner I begin to make my way to tutoring. I start to sweat. The thought of being alone in the same room as him, makes me nervous. What if he wants more than a thigh grab? I can't do that behind Mikey's back. My head starts spinning in circles and I feel sick coming up my throat. I sprint to the girl's bathroom and throw up in a cubicle. For God's sake. Why is this boy making me anxious? 

I head to the great hall and go to the table. Harry asks me if I'm alright. I say no and him and Hermione take me to the hospital wing. I lie on the bed and I throw up again, in a bucket this time. Hermione leaves after an hour as she has homework to do but Harry stays for a little while. He leans in closer and asks, "Are you really sick or is something on your mind?"

"I'm really sick" I lie.

"I saw you and Malfoy in sex ed" he blurts out.

"Saw what?"

"You know what I'm talking about"

"No, I don't"

He scoffs "I saw him touch your thigh. You can't lie to me, I saw it with my own eyes."

I gulp. Ugh. Why did this have to happen?

"I don't know why I let him do that" I tell Harry.

"Did you not like it?"

"No, I liked it. But I don't see Malfoy in that way"

"And you have a boyfriend." He reminds me. I feel sick again.

He sits with me for another half an hour and then heads to the common room. I see a nurse walk in with medicine in her hand. She tells me this will help me sleep better and will stop me from feeling sick when I wake up. I take the medicine and I'm out in seconds.

I wake up. I see Harry, Hermione and Ron looking down on me. They have brought me breakfast. Bless them. We have a lesson with Gryffindor first period. Half way though the lesson, the classroom door swings open and to my surprise Malfoy comes charging through. The teacher demands him to leave but he's ignoring her and coming straight towards me. He looks angry. He grabs my collar and pulls me up. He shouts in my face "Do you think it's funny to leave me waiting for you, for literally an hour? And you don't fucking turn up!" he then let's go of me and throws my book across the classroom.

"I was sick!" I shout back.

He places his hand on my desk and leans in so he's inches away from my face "I don't care. You could have got your stupid little friends to come and tell me, but no you didn't you selfish, filthy, disgusting MUD BLOOD!"

Dumbledore walks in when he says 'mud blood' He shouts, "My office, NOW!"

Malfoy steps at me intimidatingly and walks out the room but before he leaves, he shouts "And tutoring between us is cancelled!"

My eyes fill with tears. Why did he have to call me that? Everyone in the class comforts me but for some reason I still feel alone. I just want to go home. I can't wait to go home for Christmas.

For the rest of the day I don't see Malfoy at all.

At dinner, he also isn't there. I'm guessing he's in a lot of trouble as his mates are giving me dirty looks. Can't they all just leave me alone for fucks sake. I actually eat today, but not a lot.

Back at the dorm, it takes me a while to get to sleep. But I do drift off so that's an improvement.