someone like you

{ twenty four }

Harry slowly approached the Hogwarts express, the train seemed to be devoid of colour...actually, that was how his entire life seemed as of late

Since that night in the maze Harry had been consumed by guilt, he'd robotically gone through the motions of saying he was fine and that nothing was bothering him but it did little to convince anyone, including himself

He felt lonelier than ever, though he had the eyes of the entire school constantly on him. Everyone held their own opinions about that night, some believed Harry, some thought he had lost his mind, others thought he had been the one to kill Cedric

Simple things became impossible for Harry, such as going to the library or looking at the Great Lake...it just reminded him of all the things he'd failed to say to Cedric, reminded him of how pathetically reserved he was

"Alright mate?" Ron asked quietly, looking at Harry with that sickening look of sympathy that drove Harry up the wall. He just wanted to be treated normal...was that too much to ask even of his friends?

"I'm fine" Harry said, shaking his head and looking back at the castle he'd be leaving, the home he'd be departing to instead spend the summer with people who hated him

At least they wouldn't treat him any different than how they usually treated him, and at least they knew nothing of what Harry had had to experience this year

"Harry come on" he felt his arm being tugged and looked to his side to see Hermione. Every time she looked at him she looked as if she was going to burst into tears, her sympathy for Harry drove him mad

He slowly pulled his arm away from her, he didn't want to be given comfort...he just wanted to be alone

"Did you have breakfast today?" Hermione asked sceptically, she knew as of late Harry had been eating nothing

"Hermione I'm fine okay?" Harry spoke harshly, it was true that his lack of food and sleep were making him constantly irritable, but he didn't care

Hermione looked taken aback but simply shook her head, "you'll write to me this summer won't you?"

Harry nodded slowly, kicking a small rock and only half heartedly listening to Hermione

"I'll write" Ron said through a smile, slipping his hand into Hermione's. The two shared a look of sweetness before they both looked away from each other

Harry watched them sadly, he was of course happy that they'd finally settled out their issues though it was also a bitter reminder of what he'd lost in the graveyard

"Hey Harry!"

Harry turned to see Cho before he shook his head and continued walking

"Harry wait up!" She caught up to him at a jog and pulled his arm, "I need to talk to you"

Harry grumbled, "about what?"

Ron and Hermione shared a look of awkwardness before they started walking toward the train, "we'll get seats..."

Harry let out a long breath and looked at Cho, "what?"

The older girl looked a few seconds away from tears, "w-well I just wanted to apologize to you for how I acted this year...and...I know you've heard this already but it's not your fault"

Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead nodded, "thanks"

"Look Harry I know you hate me...and you have every right to but...I did love Cedric too, obviously he didn't love me the way he loved you but it still felt real to me"

Harry wasn't sure if this was supposed to make him feel better, all it did was stir his nerves and reawaken his jealously

"Cho I don't know what you're trying—"

"I'm trying to say that I'm here for you alright? I know it's stupid but I don't want you to feel alone okay? You have people around you and as much as you hate them at the moment...they love you and they just want to help...Cedric would want you to be happy okay?"

Harry briefly wanted to say he didn't give a damn what Cedric thought but that was a lie, he had no energy to lie

"I know" Harry said, looking down at his feet as he felt embarrassment

"And Harry, I know you're probably thinking what do I know about this but...if you'd just trust me. I've been watching you Harry and you're not eating, you're not taking care of yourself...Cedric wouldn't like that at all. Whenever we studied together—"

Harry snorted in disgust, something which earned a glare from Cho, "Harry we didn't do anything okay? Trust me I tried and Cedric always shut me down" she let out a long breath before continuing, "when we studied all he talked about was you, how he was worried about you, how he hoped you had a good day, how he should've made you eat more..."

Harry sighed sadly, he knew Cho had a point, Cedric always worried about him...and yet Harry repaid him with so little, it made him feel ever more guilty

"Harry he really loved you...he loved you the way everyone should be loved...and I know you loved him too"

To Harry's embarrassment he felt his eyes begin sting with the formation of tears, he didn't want to cry in front of Cho...or at all

Cho smiled sadly and pulled Harry into a hug, gently rubbing his back

After a long moment, the two withdrew from the embrace

"promise me you'll take care of yourself this summer"

Harry nodded, "I -I will...thanks"

Cho nodded, "feel free to write to me too"

Harry nodded and walked toward the train, he felt slightly better but it was a momentary sense of relief which was drowned out the moment he stepped foot on the train

He knew that he'd never be the same, that his life would never be as carefree and easy as it once was, it would only get more difficult from here

Once he was seated he closed his eyes and tried think of a happy time in his life, of Cedric's smile, his eyes, his laugh...

Harry was pained to admit that the more he tried to recall details of Cedric the more he forgot, it was a frustrating realization that made his chest tighten

He tried to think of the safety he felt in Cedric's arms, how happy the other boy had made him. He hoped that Cedric knew that he loved him, that his apologies though simple were genuine and heartfelt

Harry let out a small sigh and opened his eyes, staring out the window at the rainy morning, he could only hope that he'd eventually find as much happiness as he had found with Cedric ... that he could find a person to make him feel as safe and content as the older Hufflepuff boy had made him feel ...

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Thank you guys so much for reading this story I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

(I'm sorry for being so heartless as well ... I know a bunch of you guys were hoping for a happier ending)