The Dreamer

Chapter 6

Sarah sat in the little waiting room tapping her foot constantly. Every few seconds she looked up hoping to hear her name. There was a woman of about sixty sitting across her with a young man in his twenties next to the woman. Two seats to Sarah's right sat a young woman who couldn't stop shaking her leg or biting her nails, or a mix of both. Sarah kept her purse on her lap and her hands tightly grasping each other on top of her purse; her knuckles were white with all the grasping. It was incredible to see firsthand how every patient handled the stress of the appointment different. A man opened a door to the right and smiled at the young woman, motioning his hand to usher her in. She smiled and stood up eagerly almost running to the door.

For some reason, this made Sarah even more nervous, just like a child feels to see another child getting vaccinated and knowing his turn is coming. She took a deep breath, and released it slowly. Another five minutes went by until a door opened to the left. Sarah saw Dr. Howard stepping out and nodding at her. She stood up and followed him in as she had done countless times. This time she was aware of her pace, just like the other woman had rushed, Sarah unconsciously did the same.

He took his usual seat and motioned his hand to the couch in front of him. Sarah took her usual seat and got hold of a green cushion she had held hundreds of times during sessions.

"It's so nice to see you Sarah. I am just much more relaxed to see you are safe."

She nodded politely. "It's nice to see you too Dr. Howard."

"How are you feeling today? How is your day going?"

"It's good," she smiled, "Just the usual." Then she remembered an hour ago she had asked out a man. She blushed. "Well something unusual happened today, but it's maybe not relevant."

"I think everything is relevant," he smiled encouragingly.

"Well. Today I asked out a coworker, look at me blushing and giggling at forty." She looked down feeling awkward.

"It's never too late to have new experiences," he smiled while scribbling something in his notebook. He then took a quizzical look at Sarah. "I can't wait to hear your whole story. What do you say we start from the moment you lost your pills?"

Sarah nodded and went on to explain how panicked she had felt because she was afraid of dreaming. Only remembering the experience brought back the strangling feeling of panic.

"Dreams are natural Sarah, and I know a couple of times you have mentioned you don't like dreaming but you have never gone further than that. Do you feel ready for that?"

"I don't know." She bit her lip.

"What do you say I ask you questions and you decide whether you answer or skip it." Dr. Howard said, nodding.

She nodded in return.

"Ok. Well, you fear dreams, right?"

She nodded again.

"You fear dreams because..."

She swallowed hard before answering. "I am afraid they will come truth," she sighed as the doctor scribbled some more notes.

"Have any dream come true before?"

She nodded violently as her eyes filled with tears. Dr. Howard handed her a box of tissues.

"When?"

She took a deep breath, "many years ago, and then some more dreams more recently."

"Let's talk about the dreams from many years ago."