The Dreamer

Chapter 3

She jumped awake, her heart beating fast. In a rush, she threw away her bed covers and leaped out of bed. Where are them? They were nowhere. They had just been there, where did they go? She could almost feel their tiny hairy legs crawling on her body and examined her forearm for any bites; there were none.

She took a glance at the clock and saw it was 3:46. She sighed in exasperation as she realized it had all be a dream again. She sat on the bed with shoulders slumped and a brand new headache.

I am so tired. It has been three days since she lost her pills. The first night, the dream of the dog. The second night, she basically forced herself to stay awake most of the night. The third night, she had gone to bed so tired that sleep came easily. Tonight, the dreams were back. How naïve of me! I should have known that this would not go away so easily. At least in just a couple of days, she would see Dr. Howard and this could all be sorted out. She sighed in relief and managed to get back to sleep.

Few hours later, she was walking into her office ready for a new week of work. A pile of folders waited on top of her desk. She felt at peace now that her mind would not have much chance to think about dreams, death, and things she didn't feel ready to address.

A gentle knock came on her door. "I highlighted some things in the report that we will need some more details on." Damon put a new folder on her desk and walked to the door. "There are also plenty of notes too if you need some clarifications."

"Damon wait," she stepped up and walked to him. "Are you Ok?"

"I am Ok? Me? Yes Sarah, of course I am ok. I don't think you are thou," he turned around to leave.

"Is this about the other day? Come on get over it."

"Get over it?" He closed the door. "You have issues, you have big issues, and I tried to show them to you as your friend, but you decide to put all your issues and anger on me? And then you tell me to just get over it. You are unbelievable Sarah."

"Ok fine, I get it. Jesus, take a breath," she folded her arms across her chest.

"I don't think you get it," he said in a more relaxed state and more aware of his surroundings. "You are a victim by choice, Sarah. What you have is a victim mentality, always thinking nobody can support you or help you, and I offered my help. You should take it because it won't always be there."

She looked down when she noticed multiple scratches on his forearms. "Oh my God, what happened to you?"

He looked down at his arms as if for the first time. "What? What does it matter? I went camping and a bunch of spiders built their home in my tent."

Spiders! "When was this? Did they bite you?"

"Why? It was last night," he frowned. "No, I scratched myself when I felt their legs. What does this have to do with the issue at hand? You are not distracting me; you are distracting yourself from dealing with your own issues." He shook his head at her before walking away. "Hand the folder to my assistant when ready."

Spiders! Last night! It was happening all over again. Her dreams were coming true. But maybe, maybe she can use it to help others. Maybe she could warn people about things. What am I thinking? I am not some sort of super hero. But then why she had the dreams? It had been a nightmare to see her father and sister die and then just few hours later to see that happen. It had been more than a nightmare, a curse.

"Oh shit," she exclaimed aloud to no one in particular. What would she do with this knowledge? Maybe she hadn't been ready to look into that when she was younger. Am I ready now?

She locked her door and put the folders away. They are not urgent anyways. Damon was right; she can't hide from it forever. She sat down and closed her eyes and slowly and gently brought back to life all the events of that night. At first she struggled as if submerging in water.

But slowly she was able to recall. She was so young and filled with life, finishing her undergraduate degree in agronomy. She smiled faintly at the memory of her passion for her career. Recently wedded to the man of her dreams. Thinking of Matthew with so much tenderness surprised her. She had focused on resenting him for years that now thinking of his young face, his idealistic dreams, and the little details about his personality, came as a shock to her.

That fateful night, she had come back home from school, tired and ready to sleep. Her life was completely normal before that night. She had spoken to her father earlier that day. Dad! She couldn't help but let some tears out as she remembered the gentle loving voice of her father, the kind nature behind every word he said, the way he was very quiet but very vocal when it came to standing up for somebody else. More tears came, this time a little stream.

That night she went to bed, closed her eyes and drifted into sleep like usual. At exactly 3:33 am, it happened. She saw the details vividly, the blood, the bent parts of the car, the lifeless body of her sister and father. Nooo! No!

The stream of tears grew. "Noooo," she said loudly, covering her eyes with her hands. Matthew had helped her calm down, but the details were forever ingrained in her mind; even now the memory was so clear and traumatic, but there was no Matthew to hold her.

"Sarah?" The voice of Tania, her assistant came on the phone.

She dried her tears. "Yes, I am here."

"Are you OK?"

Sarah kept quiet. She heard me.

"Do you need anything?" Tania asked again in response to the silence.

"Umm, no, I mean, yes, I need a report. Hold on, let me send you the details, please look for it."

"Umm Ok. I'll get to that right now." She stayed in the line. "Do you need anything else?"

"No," Sarah said harsher than she planned to. "If I needed something I would ask for it, don't you think?"

"Oh sorry," Tania's voice was meek.

"No, wait, I am, um," she held her tongue. "Just please get that done, thank you Tania. Keep doing a great job."

She hung the phone. God Damn it. How many more people would she hurt?

Going back to the painful memory of her youth was difficult but maybe she didn't need any more pills. Maybe it was time she tried a new approach. She pulled her cell phone from her purse and dialed the office of Dr. Howard.

"Hi this is Sarah Lewis, and I need to cancel an appointment."