The Dreamer

Chapter 16

Sarah sat on the driver seat. The keys were dangling in the ignition, the keychain making a somewhat harmonic sound as she fiddled with them with one hand. Her other hand rested on her cheek. It was no longer red, but the slap was still very much present there. Touching her cheek felt like touching her mother's hand as if Martha had never removed it. It stung. It wasn't physical pain; it was another sort of pain mixed up with shame and regret and even resentment.

Her chest felt hollow as she recalled memories long hidden under the rug. Growing up she had seen with jealousy the relationship her friends had with their mothers. Sarah and Martha had never been close, but after it was only them left in her family, things went south even faster. I tried to tell her before it happened, I really did. She recalled the night Sarah confessed to her mother the dream she had. As the memories became too much to handle, Sarah felt her heart racing and had to lower the windows as if the car was running out of air. She took a deep breath and started counting in her mind. Inhale one, two, three, but then something broke.

Another memory came; this time it was Matthew. He couldn't handle her when even she struggled to handle herself. Then her mind went down a rabbit hole. She looked at her phone screen, thinking about calling Damon. All she could do was read old texts. What was the point of calling him? He was no longer a friend, or anything in her life.

Ali. Would it be alright to call her? Sarah calmed down when she remembered she wasn't alone. She pressed the call button and held the phone tightly next to her ear, keeping the other hand on her chest, tapping constantly. It ringed once, then another time. Maybe I should schedule an appointment with Dr. Howards. After the fourth ring, a woman answered on the other side.

"Hello?"

"Ali. Hi," Sarah said nervously. "It's me Sarah."

"I was expecting you'd call honey. Why so much hesitation? I told you can call me no matter what is going on." Ali chuckled.

Sarah didn't reply, still processing how strange it felt to have a person like that in her life.

"What? Don't tell me the cat ate your tongue," Ali said chuckling some more. "Alright honey. I'll send you my address. I'll be ready in about twenty minutes."

The line went dead, and Sarah just held her phone unsure of what just happened. Then her phone vibrated with the coming text with the address, as promised. Sarah looked at the spices she just got from the store. I guess I am not cooking yet. The GPS guided her for about thirty minutes back to Brooklyn. She parked outside the tiny aqua blue house. The garden was beautiful, rich in all kinds of flowers. Sarah was marveled at the beauty and felt tempted to touch the flowers as she walked to the front door. She hesitated before knocking on the door. After few knocks, the door opened. Ali smiled broadly and hugged Sarah tightly. Who is this woman? Sarah though as she felt the familiarity and the comfort in the hug, from a virtual stranger. A young girl observed from the blinds of the window. Sarah could see the round brown eyes and her white smile. She waved and Sarah waved back. After losing Jessica, Sarah hadn't been much interested in children, but this little girl felt like family somehow.

"Now go back to your homework Sofia. It's my turn to go out with friends," Ali said with her usual smile.

Sarah felt her chest empty when she heard the name.

"What is it honey? You have lost all your color, and you didn't have much to begin with," Ali joked.

Sarah came back to her senses. "It's nothing," she said while thinking about the irony of the situation. Sophie, I miss you. "Wait, what did you say? I do have color," Sarah laughed along.