The Dreamer

Chapter 41

Ali stared into Sarah's eyes. They were sitting at a Waffle House. Sarah observed her surroundings as if she was in a completely different country.

"I can't believe you have never been here before," Ali said.

"I may have been here and not remember it."

"Uhm," Ali nodded. "So are you going to tell me why you are here?"

Sarah sighed. "I.." her eyes got red instantly and she swallowed hard.

"Or we can get something in our bellies and then talk," Ali suggested.

Sarah nodded.

"Although I gotta be honest. When you called me with so much urgency and were willing to meet anywhere I was, I felt you were ready. Should I push you a little bit or just wait."

"Please push me," Sarah replied looking down.

"Is it about your mother?"

Sarah covered her face. "You know me so well. I just can't bring myself to say this aloud and not break down."

"Ok. Ok. Take a deep breath Sarah. Picture it as if you are struggling to breathe because something is stuck in your throat. You need to let it pass or it could kill you. You have to pass it. The difference is that you have to pass it outside instead of inside. Sarah, don't let it kill your soul. You are ready."

Sarah nodded and looked around. She started telling her everything about her meeting with Martha, and by the end she was in tears. Ali moved to her side and hugged her. People stared and the waiter stood at a distance with a notepad in hand.

"I am just so tired. I wish I didn't find her again. I wish I went on forgetting she even existed," Sarah sobbed.

"The soul knows what's best. You are given only what you are ready to handle. And you needed to take care of this before moving forward," Ali dried Sarah's face with the back of her hand.

"Ali, I wish I had a mother like you," Sarah admitted.

Ali grinned. "I am sure my own daughter has said those same words to some woman out there." She stared to the front door. "I am firm believer that we chose the experiences of this incarnation and even if it seems and feels horrible, it's only here to help us grow and heal."

"Are you telling me that the same situations that break us are the ones that are teaching us how to heal?" Sarah dried her face, much more collected.

"Crazy, isn't it? Healing transcends time. You may think you are healing childhood trauma, neglect, you name it. But we are healing things that go beyond this life and things that apply to our ancestors, our entire lineage, and the universe at large."

Sarah stared also out the door. "My mother. She has a history of abuse I just found out about, maybe her mother too, and God know how many generations back. This is my job, yet it doesn't feel fair that I have to do it."

"You chose to do it, and you can also choose not to do it if you feel it is too much. We have free will."

Sarah hesitated for few seconds. "How do I heal?"

"You are doing it. By simply looking at the patterns of the past, you are doing the work."

"That's it?" Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"There is more, but it depends on each person. I can't tell you what your healing path is, but I know a couple of things that will help you. Now, take it with a grain of salt. Your path is yours alone after all."