Is there something beyond love

Part-8

"Mere yaara Tere gam ham agar payenge...
    Hume Teri hai kasam ham sawar
       jayenge
       Do ye saugaat tum... To zamane
              ki  ham...
             Har khushi se mukar jayenge
                   Hum mar jayenge... "

He entered the room closing the door behind him. Looking at her sleepy body, Sidharth felt like it was the only sight he ever wanted to witness.. Her face was exhausted owing to the  struggle she had went through yet was most beautiful face he had ever seen... He thanked the every power of universe that had brought her back to him or brought her back for him....

He moved forward and sat on a stool near her....

The calmness that surrounded the room made him think of the course of the whole day....The day had actually the strength to shake his entire being and it did undoubtedly...

The thoughts actually frightened him to the core of his existence...He did not have the courage to even think what would have happened if she would not have survived the facade of this day.... He did not want to think of that but the fear was not letting him in peace... Those ' what - ifs ' were still scaring him.. He wanted assurance that would just fade away the fear of all those 'what - ifs'..

So, he held her hand and brought it to his heart...He wanted her to feel him and assure him all what he wanted.... He wanted to tell her that his heart was beating because of her, for her...

After a while he removed her hand from his heart and put his on hers softly making sure that it was not on her wound....
The moment he felt her soft heart beat, a chill ran down his spine...
He felt it saying all he wanted to listen..
He felt it assuring him that it was beating to fade away all the fears he had.... He felt it saying that it had fought death to not let any of his fears engulf his peace and sanity...

The peace her presence gave him was slowly washing away the pain of all what he had gone through  that day... silent tears started flowing from his eyes...It was how his body was releasing the stress he had..
He felt very emotional and overwhelmed right now...

"Shehnaazzz...  ",he said with his cracked voice removing his hand from her heart and taking it to her forehead to caress it.... He knew she was not going to reply as she was unconscious but he wanted to talk to her though he had never did that...

"Why you did that...you don't deserve to be in the pain you are in... It was destined for me, no?? ", Sidharth blurted out what had been a baggage on his heart....he was too vulnerable right now..
he took her hand in his and brought it to his eyes... He could not stop his tears and let them soak her hands....

"You don't even know what would have happened agr tuje kuch ho jata.... ",his voice cracked even more as his fears again engulfed him...

"What would I have done babyyy "..the pain that had just started fading came rushing back to him...

"I know ki kuch time phele tak I had not even met you, but now it's fucking difficult to imagine my life without you....Its difficult to imagine this world without you... It's difficult.. And Usse bhi jyada important I don't want to imagine this world and my life without you.. "

He didn't know whether he was making sense or not but he didn't want to stop...He was in a too emotional state to comprehend his own words....

"If something would have happened to you, I would have died alive ",he finally cried hard saying this... He could not imagine that... He did not want to....How was that possible...

He cried for a while  and then finally fell asleep with his head on her bed still holding her hand letting the exhaustion of the day take over...