Barren

Medicine

TRIGGER WARNING READ AT OWN RISK: mention of rape, molestation, self-harm and attempted suicide. (Story tags were updated to reflect this chapter)

Do not read if any of this is triggering.

Anyways, this chapter gives you more of why Harry is the way he is...enjoy!

**

Harry groaned as he opened his eyes, the bright white walls made his eyes hurt from the way the sunshine shined through the window.

He had been at this facility for about a week now, he had another week to go if everything went well. He hadn't touched an ounce of alcohol since the night his mother forced him to sign himself up.

He remembered the yelling and screaming, he said things he regretted, but Anne never took it to heart because she knew her son needed help.

"I hate you! You never were there for me! When dad did all of those things to me." Harry was full on sobbing, he had finally reached his breaking point after Anna dragged him to the private facility that specializes in mental illness treatment. "You never were home to see what he would do to me, what he would say to me!"

Anne knew why Harry was the way he was, his father wasn't the nicest man ever, but as soon as she noticed what was happening she called the cops to have him removed.

Being a paramedic and firefighter meant she was barely ever home, when she was there wasn't anything wrong, but she never knew what happened when she wasn't.

"How many times to do I have to tell you I'm sorry! You know as soon as I walked in and saw what happened I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I did everything I could to make it all better."

"No you didn't! You should have been there, why didn't you ever notice when I was basically crying for help?" Harry angrily wiped away his tears, this was good for him though, he needed to get it all out.

Anne took to abuse from her son, she knew it takes a lot for him to show emotion, but she understood that he needed this.

He held it in for so long, he just exploded.

"Harry, what your father did was vile and I will never be able to forgive myself for not seeing it sooner. But I promised you that nothing would ever happen again. He went away and I stayed."

Harry grimaced at the thought of the abuse, the sexual abuse he received from his own father, the physical abuse that gave his father the control he needed.

His father is the reason why he needed control over everything, especially why he needed control of Louis, he didn't want to feel vulnerable.

His father hated when Harry tried to overtake him, in his own words to Harry he would say "You are to stay quiet and do as you are told. Don't test me."

Harry went through years and years of therapy as a child to help diagnose him with PTSD, depression and OCD.

His PTSD fortunately was not as bad as it originally was as he was able to get through a lot of what he had to go through. His OCD was what was worse, he needed everything to be a certain way, if something was disrupted he would freak out.

The only reason why he changed so quickly was he started to lose control over Louis, he hated it, he felt vulnerable. He felt like Louis was slipping away so he took the lead and took the control over him just like his father did.

He never understood why the abuse had started with his father, but he could only think it was due to the fact that his mother wasn't home and he was bored.