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Oct 2, 2020.

Dear diary,

Am I meant to stay in places that will always hurt?

I feel like I'm drowning again.
I can't get out, I can't get up, I'm suffocating.

I'm tired of being alive, of existing, I'm just so done with all of that.

I just want to go away, anywhere, so maybe this life will hurt less.

I don't want to be here, I hate this continuous feeling.

Nothing makes sense, I don't feel intelligent enough for my career, I don't like my body, even my voice is ruined.

Maybe I should start cutting myself again, go back with ana and Mia, go back to stop feeling, go back to be like ice until I stop breathing.
I'm tired.
I wish I could disappear.

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