Redamancy (d.m)

Chapter six- caring

My eyes fluttered open slowly, and for once, I wasn't glad to have woken up

Why was that dream so different from my others?

I looked over to my right and saw that it was only seven in the morning, breakfast wouldn't start for an hour. I made it get up, and it was only then did I register that I was not alone. An arm was draped securely over my body and I nudged the raven haired boy gently.

"Harry" I whispered, he woke up and smiled up me, "we fell asleep and missed like five classes yesterday"
"It was worth it to make sure you were all right...are you?" He seemed to genuinely want to know
"I am now" I replied simply. "I should tell you, and Hermione and Ron, of course. About what happened, about the boggart"

Meeting his eyes, I could tell he wanted to know but was afraid of upsetting me

"Are you sure? You don't have to if you don't want to"
"I'm sure" I replied reassuringly

"I'm not really sure, erm, where to start" I began uncertainly, after I had gathered my friends under the shade of a large oak tree during our free period, determined to tell them everything. Sensing my discomfort, Hermione placed her hand on my shoulder and said, "I find the beginning to be a good place to do so"

So I did

"His name was Noah. Noah Milton. His mother was close to mine, so we became very close, much to the displeasure of his father. Noah was set to marry some prissy rich pure blood bitch from Europe, and his father made him end things at once. Course we weren't going to just listen to him, we simply had to be more wary of our visits. I didn't mind really, I found the entire sneaking around thing to be rather exciting. We would apparate-" 
"Where in merlin's name did you learn to do that?" Ron exclaimed in disbelief at my advanced magical talents
"I've been able to apparate since I was seven, Bellatrix taught me, and I taught Noah. Anyways, it worked for a good amount of time, mind you, we came close to being caught plenty of times" I smiled at the thought of our late night adventures, "He was, as sickeningly cheesy as it sounds, the love of my life. Didn't stop his father from trying to kill me when they found out about us though" I clenched my jaw, repeating the words that evil twisted man said to me before firing a jet of blazing green,

"You will never be good enough for my son. Don't waste your energy trying to convince yourself otherwise. He will leave you, this I am sure of"

"He was right." I scoffed bitterly, my eyes staring at the blades of grass below me, "He did leave me. He jumped in front of me before the curse could reach me and..he.." my voice caught in my throat, choking on the memory of the color draining from his face as his body fell forward onto the wooden floor. Ignoring the screams of his father, I collapsed down to hold him in my arms and begged him to stay but he had to go, holding my face in his hands and pulling me into a sorrowful kiss. "I'll love you forever and always, my (y/n)" he whispered softly before his eyelids closed for the last time. I stayed next to him for hours. I didn't even hear his father had been sent to Azkaban until his mother came to find me, pulling me into a tight hug which I returned after a moment of shock. After both our tears subsided, she spoke softly as she turned her face to look at her son, "I never wanted this. I saw how indescribably and undeniably happy you made him, (y/n).  I knew he loved you before he did. I saw it in his eyes. He did everything for you, gave his last breathe for you. Even the worlds shallowest fool could see how much he loved you".

The next few days, I walked around feeling a great weight absent from my shoulders. If I had known how free talking about what happened would make me feel, I would've done it long ago. The trio, being the amazing people they are, were as supportive and kind as I could've asked for, and I felt liberated knowing that there was no judgment in presence of my traumatic past. On the other hand, I did have to endure the torture of apologising to a git who certainly didn't deserve it. By the end of the week, my euphoric state had completely fizzled out, replaced with worry after an attack from Sirius Black 

"The teachers and I need to conduct a thorough search of the castle" Professor Dumbledore's voice was steady and calm as he addressed the entire school that had gathered in the Great hall, "I'm afraid that, for your own safety, you will have to spend the night here"

he pulled out his wand and waved it around, causing hundreds of purple sleeping bags to be conjured as the dining tables were thrown to the side. I walked with the trio to find available sleeping bags, and found three next to each other. Great. Huffing, I insisted that my friends take them and ensured I would be fine somewhere else. Looking back, I would've fought tooth and nail for one of the three sleeping bags. Because after walking around the entire hall twice. I sighed in defeat knowing the only available one was on the far side of the hall, next to a certain blonde nuisance. I crawled into the cushy sleeping bag and stuck my tongue out as Malfoy scrunched his nose in equal distaste.

"Why are you here?"
"There's a murderer on the loose and I'd rather like to live, thank you very much"
"I mean why are you here, next to me"
"In case you haven't realised, dumbass, this is the last unoccupied sleeping bag. Now shut up I'm trying to sleep"

Draco POV

"In case you haven't realised, dumbass, this is the last unoccupied sleeping bag. Now shut up I'm trying to sleep"

I tensed at the fact that she had such nerve, insulting me. No one ever spoke to me like that, and I wasn't about to let her start. I opened my mouth to retort, but then she turned her head to look at my with those aggravatingly gorgeous eyes and said

"I'm not a murderer, Draco"

She said my first name
She's never done that before. I liked how it sounded.

"You would know that if you bothered to ask me about it instead of doing that thing you do."

I scrunched my eyebrows at her statement.

"What thing? The hell are you talking about?"
"Where you get to know someone just enough that you can figure out what hurts them the most and use it to push them away. Because you don't like being close to people-caring. You don't know how to recognise it and you're terrified that if you do, you won't know how to care back and end up losing it"

How did this girl manage to know so much about a person she barely talks to?

"He died for me. That doesn't make me a murderer."

I propped my head up on my elbow at the sudden, mysterious, admittance.

"He-what?"
"Try it some time. Caring about someone." She said simply, thought she only confused me further, closing her eyes and leaving me alone with my thoughts and a unrecognisable feeling of warmth growing in my chest.

I watched as her breathing became steady, her soft lips slightly parted as her long hair rolled past her shoulders. Shaking my head as I realised I was watching her sleep like a creep, I sighed, feeling something I haven't felt in a long time.

Guilt. I shouldn't have called her that. I don't even know why I said it. All I know is, turning the corner of the hallway and seeing Potter's hand in (y/n)'s,  my fists curled with rage and I saw red.

Your POV
Just as I was about to slip into sleep, I heard the low voice of Draco Malfoy whisper

"Maybe I will try it"