Redamancy (d.m)

Chapter ninety three-pathetic

The next morning, I finally learnt the name of Montague's former lover, by way of him repeatedly screaming it at her at a volume that should have been criminally outlawed that early in the day.

"You broke up with me!" He growled, his back facing the bed and towards a very infuriated fire of a woman. I might've felt a tickle of fear were I not busy yawning, "you've no right to be mad at me, Andrea!"

This, evidently, did nothing to tame Andrea's rage.

"Out of every girl pining after you, you just had to pick a fucking Gryffindor" she spat venomously
"Top of the morning to you, as well" I greeted, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I sat up in Montague's bed, clad in his quidditch jersey

All together, it painted quite the suggestive scene, which was precisely what Montague had hoped to achieve. He had given me the bed, offered to sleep on the loveseat in the dorm, per the "morality of his gentlemanly conscience". But Andrea didn't know that.

"Oh look, the Gryffinwhore's awake" she snarled, full lips wilting into a sneer
"Well aren't you creative with your wordplay?" I sung, releasing another yawn, "might have to steal that for myself"
"What does she have that I don't?" Andrea then demanded, rounding back onto Montague
"A personality that extends beyond being an envious slut-shamer" I answered nonchalantly as I slid out of bed, collecting the articles of clothing I had strategically tossed around the room to construct the scene of a late night hookup

While I busied myself with the task of looking presentable, tugging my clothing back on and leaving Montague's jersey folded neatly atop his dresser, Montague and Andrea reverted back to their ill-advised bickering

"Well, this has been fun, but I've got a game to play" I cut in through their heated quarrel, combing my fingers through my hair

Never before in the history of Hogwarts, had there ever been a worse game of Qudditch carried out, in my  humble opinion. And this was coming from the Chaser that has sustained countless severe injuries from the sport.

"(Y/n), where're you going?" Ginny called out, forgetting her animosity towards me in her distress as I marched away from the Gryffindor team huddled around an unconscious Harry on the quidditch field
"To kill McLaggen" I yelled over my shoulder, locating the idiot in question, rubbing the back of his neck as he conversed with Professor McGonagall, "hey! fuck face!"
"Miss Lestrange, I understand you are upset, but that sort of vile language is not permitted at Hogwarts!" Professor McGonagall scolded
"He hit a bludger at Harry" I exclaimed incredulously, glaring at McLaggen, who looked down shamefully at his feet
"I wasn't aiming for him" he mumbled sheepishly
"And he will be penalised appropriately for his idiocy, I can assure you of that" Professor McGonagall said sternly, "but that will not be for you to deliver, get yourself back up to the castle"

The following Monday evening, Harry and Ron were properly discharged from the hospital wing. Though McLaggen had cost us the match, it lead to a silver lining in the fact that Hermione had given up her inexplicable feud with Ron, even choosing to come along when I informed her I was headed to meet them at the hospital wing.

"He had to spend his free period vanishing the egg yolk from his walls" I recounted gleefully as I told the story of McLaggen's room being egged after he sent a bludger straight into Harry during the quidditch match
"That's bloody fantastic, that is" Ron chortled, patting me on the back
"McGonagall must've hung you by the knees for that" Harry joked with a wide grin
"I'm sure she would've, if she knew it was me" i replied smugly, winking as we strode down the seventh floor corridor

As we rounded the corner, we were met with a timid girl peering at a painting of trolls in tutus. At the sight of approaching sixth years, she let out a startled squeak and dropped the brass scale she was carrying in her little arms. They clanged onto the floor with a rattling boom.