Redamancy (d.m)

Chapter twenty five-kinks

"Bobutubers" Professor Sprout informed the Herbology class next morning, referring to the sluggish, pitch black plants that sat squirming on the table, "they need squeezing, you will collect the pus"
"The what" Seamus asked

Collect the pusss....y

Lord I have the maturity of a Cornish pixie.

We were instructed to partner up to collect the pus, and I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.
"Partner with me?" Cedric asked brightly
"Is this your way of asking me out?" I joked as we made our way towards a plant
"Not the most romantic setting for a date, but it'll have to do" Cedric said, sighing over-dramatically, and I laughed
"What do you mean, Ced, it's my lifelong dream to one day harvest plant excrement with a boy"

We talked and joked throughout class, despite our disgusting class work. It didn't matter where we were, or what we were doing, whenever he was around I couldn't help but feel content with my world.

"what the bloody hell is making all that noise?" I asked, turning to the mysterious crates next to Hagrid's hut, which made various hissing and explosive noises.
"Morning" Hagrid bellowed energetically, "Be'er wait for the Slytherins...they won't want to miss this, Blast Ended Skrewts!"

I didn't have the heart to voice my concern towards his choice of magical creature after seeing his excited expression, despite knowing from personal experience how mutinous these fire-breathers could be.

"Yeh'll be able to raise them yourselves, though I'd make a project of it!"
"And why would we want to raise them?" A voice from behind the class asked, the Slytherins had arrived to class, lead by Malfoy, "I mean, what do they do, what's the point of them?"
"That'll be for next class" Hagrid said gruffly, "yer just feeding them today"

"I'm not touching that shit" I said to Harry, who tried to hand me a box of frog liver, and he rolled his eyes playfully before returning to his pointless task.
"Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive," said Malfoy sarcastically after Dean was burnt by one, "Who wouldn't want something that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?"
"Everyone has their kinks, no judgment here" I mused, to laughs from Gryffindors

"Weasley! Hey Wealsey!"
"Ignore. Him." I said shortly, but Ron didn't listen, turning around to face Malfoy,as well as the small crowd of students who had gathered to observe
"What" he said bitterly
"Your dad's in the paper, Wealsey" Malfoy said loudly, waving around the newest copy of the daily prophet, which he read aloud

"FURTHER MISTAKES AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC
It seems as though the Ministry of Magic's troubles are not yet at an end, writes Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent. Recently under fire for its poor crowd control at the Quidditch World Cup, and still unable to account for the disappearance of one of its witches, the Ministry was plunged into fresh embarrassment yesterday by the antics of Arnold Weasley, of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office"

Malfoy scoffed

"Imagine that, not even getting his name right, Weasley. It's almost as though he's a complete non-entity" the crowd grew larger as more people arrived to the scene,

"Arnold Weasley, who was charged with possession of a flying car two years ago, was yesterday involved in a tussle with several Muggle law-keepers ("policemen") over a number of highly aggressive dustbins. Mr. Weasley appears to have rushed to the aid of "Mad-Eye" Moody, the aged ex-Auror who retired from the Ministry when no longer able to tell the difference between a handshake and attempted murder. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Weasley found, upon arrival at Mr. Moody's heavily guarded house, that Mr. Moody had once again raised a false alarm. Mr. Weasley was forced to modify several memories before he could escape from the policemen, but refused to answer Daily Prophet questions about why he had involved the Ministry in such an undignified and potentially embarrassing scene."

I pressed my eyes shut momentarily, before turning to Ron, who was shaking with rage and embarrassment

"Ron, do.not.say.a.word" I said, keeping my voice so low only he could here me, "he's doing this on purpose. He's hoping you'll lash out at him, this is his game. Calm down. Breathe. Do not respond...got it?"

He nodded stiffly. I placed an arm on his shoulder, allowing me to guide him away. We didn't get very far, however.

"And there's a picture, Weasley" Malfoy said, turning the page
"Ignore him" I said
"A picture of your parents outside your house!"
"Let's go, Ron"
if you can call it a house!"
"Don't listen to him"
"Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she?"
"Don't-"

He did not just-

And now it was my turn to take my own advice, Harry grabbing onto me as I lunged towards Malfoy with an anger fuelled by protectiveness over my second mother.

"Let...me...go..." I struggled against Harry's grip, which was surprisingly strong considering he was built like a bowtruckle. He held me against him tightly until I had somewhat calmed down, before speaking to Malfoy

"Get stuffed, Malfoy" he said, "come on, (y/n)"
"Oh yeah, you two were staying with them this summer, weren't you?" Malfoy snarled, "so tell me, is his mother rally that porky, or is it just the picture"
"You know your mother, Malfoy" Harry shot back, "that expression she's got-like she's got dung under her nose? Does she always look like that, or was it just because you were with her?"

I laughed as Malfoy's smirk dropped, turning into a nasty scowl as Harry turned away, placing an arm over my shoulders to lead me away from the crowd. A flash of white hot light shot at Harry out of the corner of my eye, barely missing him. Another loud bang was heard, and we turned around, astonished to see the sight of Professor Moody with his wand brandished dramatically at the spot where Malfoy previously stood.

"you both alright?" the professor asked Harry and me
"we're fine" i said

Moody returned his attention to a white ferret on the ground, and I was filled with glee when I realised it had once been a student. Moody pointed his wand at ferret Malfoy, making him rise up into the air, bouncing up and down with his tiny arms flailing wildly. The entire crowd was roaring with laughter, including myself, Harry, and Ron. Hermione was doing her best to disguise her smile.

"I don't like people who attack when their opponent's backs are turned" Moody muttered
"Professor Moody!" Professor McGonagall cried, as she arrived hurriedly to the scene, "what are you doing?!"
"Teaching" Moody replied, never taking his eyes off the ferret
"Teach-is that a student?"

I groaned in disappointment when a horrified Professor McGonagall transfigured Malfoy back to his human form, landing on his stomach before scrambling to get up.

"Shhhh" I pestered my friends to silence their amused conversations as we headed to our table in the great hall, "I'm trying to permanently indent the glorious sight of Malfoy the ferret boy into my memory" to which we all laughed.