Redamancy (d.m)

Chapter eighteen-night routines

Summer used to be my favourite season.

I adored the feeling it brought along, the light clinking of ice swirling against the glass, the shaded view of the boardwalk through sunglasses. The collections of seashells that grew with each trip to the beach, littering the shelves with speckles of sand and nostalgic memories.

But summer was as gloomy and cold as winter now.

Summer brought with it, instead, reminders of my loss and my pain. A tumultuous amount of vivid nightmares all throughout the night, an insomnia that could only be filled with an antique record player in the corner of my room, surrounded by all of his favourite vinyls. I hummed along with the beautifully haunting tunes and folded my arms around my body, fantasising of a world where he was holding me in his arms, singing along with me.

A world in which summer came back to me.

the first week at home before leaving to spend the rest of summer at the Weasleys was more unbearable than expected. The Burrow was a stark contrast to my home, which was empty and lonely, especially with its large size. From the outside, it looked grand and impressive, but the inside was a mere hollow shell lacking the energy to used to contain long ago. My first impression of the Burrow, old and rickety as it may appear, was that its walls were bursting with laughter, laughter that my lungs greatly ached for. I couldn't fathom how Ron could be so ashamed, to me, it mattered not where the family dwells, their bond, if strong like the Weasleys, could turn any place into a home. I had spent the rest of my summer there, showered with motherly love from Molly, playing quidditch with Bill, Charlie, the twins and Ron, and secretly assisting the twins in developing a series of amusing products for a joke business they had started. It was, in fact, my idea to slip a ton-tongue toffee to Harry's horrid cousin, and the twins gladly assumed the role of delivery men while I waited with Hermione, who arrived shortly after I did, eagerly waiting their return. Ginny had huffed and stalked off when Hermione called me over, she's never liked me, I assumed it was because of my closeness with Harry. A loud bang sounded from the kitchen, and I rushed up from my bed and spotted Harry, squealing excitedly before running up and hugging him tightly.

"(Y/n)! You've gotten so tall!"
"You're one to talk, you must be three inches taller since I last saw you!" I laughed, then added quietly, "did he eat it?"
He looked at me surprised, before saying, "yeah, his tongue was massive. You knew about them?"
"Knew about them? I helped make them"
"Well they are quite exceptional"

I smiled at his praise, before helping Hermione show Harry to his room in order to avoid a very upset Molly and a pair of twins who had refused to let me take the blame.

"So how was summer at the Dursleys, Harry" I said playfully, swinging an arm around his shoulder as we walked up the stair to his room, "Reckon you did a ton of family bonding, eh?"

He rolled his eyes lightly and smiled at my immaturity, and I heard a noise from the far side of the room he would share with Ron. Ginny stood with her arms crossed with the usual glare I received from her, before noticing Harry's presence and turning bright pink, running out the door.

"What's she on about?" Harry asked me, tilting his head to look at me
"You are so oblivious, Harry" I said, and sighed at his confused expression, "she's obsessed with you, it's the only explanation for why she hates me so much"

It felt nice, having our friend group whole again, with the arrival of Harry. We sat cross legged on the floor of the boys' room, shoving our faces with candy and telling stories about our summers, I hadn't realised just how much I missed this. After dinner, we resumed our conversation about which team we thought would win at the Cup tomorrow, and bid each other goodnight as me and Hermione went back to our bedroom. A golden feathered tawny owl flew in gracefully through the open bedroom window, landing in front of me and holding out a letter attached to its leg.

"Hey there Nadi" I cooed, feeding the owl a treat before untying the letter and the owl set off back out the window with a loud hoot. Running to my desk, I quickly tore open the letter as Hermione said from her bed,

"Another letter? Don't you two ever run out of things to say?" She teased, but I payed her no mind, reading the letter quickly with a faint smile

Dear (y/n),

If you so strongly argue that acid pops are the best candy, then who am I to disagree?

Aha! I knew I would win that argument

I can't wait to finally see you tomorrow, my dad's told me we'll be using the same Portkey. You've really got to teach me apparition, I'm getting sick of walking everywhere.

Have a good night, darling, I miss you.

Always,
Cedric

I girlishly ran over and handed the paper to Hermione,who gasped and snickered gleefully as she read, before looking up and exclaiming

"That's so incredibly sweet!"
"Isn't it!?"
"(y/n), my god, you two are so perfect it's sickening"

I slapped her arm lightly, before taking back the letter and placing it with the rest he had sent over the summer. I muttered a goodnight to Hermione, which she returned, blowing out the last candle.

I didn't bother getting comfortable, knowing the night would not permit me  an undisturbed slumber. I crept to the open window, the light of the moon illuminating my agile movements as I grabbed onto the tangled vines creeping up the walls of the house, climbing down and sitting in the garden. I had taken to this nightly routine, the aroma of the multitude of flowers calmed me, as did the crisp night breeze. I jumped as I heard a shuffling behind me, but relaxed when I identified the source of the noise.

"(Y/n)?"
"Jesus Harry you scared me half to death"
"What're you doing out here so late?"
"I could ask you the same thing"
"My, er...my scar hurt" he seemed unsure whether or not he wanted to divulge this information. My brows furrowed, and I titled my head slightly.
"Has that happened before"
"Couple times."
"Have you told anyone? Other than me, of course"
"I wrote to Sirius about it."
"I'm sure it's nothing, Harry" I said reassuringly, "but seeing as it's keeping you awake, wanna join me?"
He smiled, and said "sure, thanks" and nestled in next to me.

I sighed, leaning my head against his shoulder as he placed his head on mine.

"You never told me why you're out here"
"I'm always out here" I replied, "every night"
"That's not healthy, (y/n), you should be sleeping"
"I can't"
"Why not?"
My breath quickened with my heart beat, and Harry must have noticed, for he placed an arm around my comfortingly, before saying

"Is it because of him?"

I looked up at him, with an air of questioning

"It's in the Prophet, they've got this writer, she's horrible, really. Found out everything that happened last summer, and seeing as you're a Lestrange, thought it'd get loads of reads. published a huge piece on it. Front page." He said sympathetically, though with a hint of bitterness at the mention of the writer. I was surprised at this news, I hadn't read the paper all summer.

"I have nightmares of him. Every night" I admitted, "It's always the same. I see his father torturing him, and me, and laughing at it. And I see him point his wand at him and kill him. Every night. Over and over again."

I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I buried my face in Harry's chest and he rocked me back and forth, stroking my hair comfortingly

"I'm so sorry, (y/n)" he whispered
"I just-I wish he was..." I sobbed quietly, struggling to form a sentence
"I know, (y,n)" he said soothingly, "I know."