Déjà Vu [PUBLISHED]

Chapter 18

TRIGGER WARNING:
SELF HARMING

"You dreamed about her," she said after blowing her first batch of smoke.

I sighed, nodding. "I didn't know that you smoke," I said, trying to divert the topic.

She smirked. "Hindi naman. Noong nakaraan lang," she faced me while her cigarette is in between her middle and index finger. "Tell me what you dreamed about, and I'll tell you my déjà rêvé."

Napakunot ako ng noo sa sinabi niya. "Ano? Déjà rêvé?"

She nodded. "Already dreamed, in English. I have repetitive dream about you and a girl. Do you want to know?" she asked.

I nodded, hesitating. Why does she look cool now? Hindi ba siya galit? Why does she look . . . argh. Bakit ba iniisip ko pa 'to?

"Tell me what you dreamed first, that made you went to the rooftop to get some fresh air."

I sighed, remembering what I dreamed about earlier. "It was Grace and I. A part from the past that will always haunt me," I sighed again as I smoke from my cigarette. I blew the smoke after few seconds. "It's not the breakup that hurts, really. It was her condition."

Tumingin ako sa kan'ya, nakakunot ng noo niya. "Condition?"

I nodded. "Grace was one of the most popular girls in our school back when we were in senior high. She's elegant . . . full of grace. Just like her name. Grace Amélie. Masayahin siyang tao. Transparent din. She's very true to herself, that's why I never really think that we have a problem that time."

I sighed as I remembered how I saw her the first time she hurt herself.

~~~

"Grace, why do you have a knife in your bag?!" I asked, angry.

She looked scared as she grasped the hem of my polo. "Someone's following me! Connor, paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi na papatayin niya ang mga taong mahal ko kapag hindi ako namatay!"

My forehead creased at what she said. That's absurd. Kalalabas niya lang ng apartment niya. Imposibleng may sumusunod sa kan'ya kasi umagang-umaga ko siyang sinundo. Wala naman siyang kasama sa bahay maliban sa guards na nasa labas lang naman naka-duty.

"Grace, walang sumusunod sa 'yo," I said.

"No!" She panicked. "Connor, I heard him! While I was taking a bath, I heard him told me that in order to save someone I cared about from dying, I should bring a knife at school!"

"What?" I asked. "This is unbelievable. Grace, stop watching horror movies, please . . ." I sighed as I took her hand. "Let's go to school."

I throw the knife in the garbage bin we walked by but she stopped walking and took it inside. Ang baho ng basurahan pero kinuha niya talaga 'yon sa loob. That made me nervous and scared for her.

The Grace I know feels disgusted with stinky smell. Now, why did Grace take that knife in garbage full of stinky wastes?

She looks like she's losing her mind . . . and I hate to admit it, but I'm slowly losing the face of the woman I fell in love with. But even though after that, my love for her never faded.

"Is this okay?" she asked while holding the knife. She's not looking at me, but I know that she's talking to me because I am the only one she's with.

I was about to answer her when she talked again. "This won't hurt? Okay?"

Before I could stop her, she stabbed her hand with the knife.

"Grace!"

She looked at me, shocked. "Connor, I helped someone."