𝐞𝐮𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚

15. is there somebody who can watch you

matty

i was at the studio when it happened.

she called me and the tone in her voice truly scared me because i've never heard her like that before. she wasn't telling me exactly what happened which made me more worried and now i had many scenarios in my head of what might of happened.

i left without telling the boys what happened because i had to see her quickly. something wasn't right.

i drive to her house and as i approach it, i see paramedics and fuck. this can't be fucking happening. it feels as my heart stops but it gets worse when i see them bringing her out on a stretcher and she's a crying mess which makes me a crying mess. they bring her to the back of the paramedics truck and i sit next to her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it as my tears keep falling.

we arrive at the hospital and as they bring val into the room, i'm stood there staring at her and wondering what went wrong.

i don't know how long i was waiting for, i think it's been an hour or so. i don't know how everything went from being so good and so well to it all crashing down.

i sit on the chair beside the bed she's laying on and she's not looking at me and it fucking breaks my heart. the tears have already started falling down my face and i bite my lip to stop myself from sobbing. i grab her hand and squeeze it. she finally looks at me with her red, glossy eyes and my heart shatters even more.

we stay in the room for less than an hour and i try my best to comfort her, though i don't think it's helping. i'm staring at the ground when i feel her squeeze my hand and i hear her quiet voice.

"we lost our baby, matthew."

i feel like crying again. i can hear the heartbreak in her voice. i finally speak and my voice feels dry and sounds raspy.

"i know it's me that's supposed to love you, and when i'm home you know i got you." i whisper and she nods her head and tries to smile, which makes me even more fucking sad.

"i need to smoke." i say quietly as i get up and kiss her forehead. i leave the room and i see everyone sitting in the waiting room. i messaged george a while after we arrived here. they all get up once they see me and don't say anything. they hug me and that's when i lose it. i can't stop crying. they start crying from the sight of me crying. i don't know what to do or how to help her, or even myself.

i bury my face in george's chest while his arms are around me and i just keep crying and crying and i can't stop. i look up at him and i see he's crying too, along with everyone else. not as much as i am. i feel like a mess. i feel like i could've done something to prevent this but deep down i know there really wasn't.

about an hour later, george offers to take us home and stay with us for the night, along with kat. i accept because i don't want to be alone with val, i don't know how i can calm her down, hell i can't even calm myself down.

we arrive at her house and we walk inside. she hasn't said a word to me or anyone since we left the hospital and it breaks my heart.

george and kat sit on the couch but val goes straight to her room and closes the door shut. they look at me and i just sigh. i head to the washroom to clean up any mess there is but george gets up and stops me.

"we'll clean it. you take care of yourself and val, please."

"i can't let you do that, mate." i say but he shakes his head.

"don't worry about it." he says and i stop fighting it and give in.

i slowly open the door to val's room and see her under the covers facing opposite of me. i quietly lay down next to her and get close enough to her where i can her crying. she knows i'm beside her so she turns  around to face me.

"we lost our fucking child, matthew." she says while sobbing and the sight of her crying makes me cry.

"i got you, my love." i hold her as she cries into my chest. "we'll be alright."

"but what if we're not?" she mumbles and i don't say anything.

the thought of us not being alright ever again truly scares me.