Fuck, I messed up again, didn't I?
I wanted to to be able to see eye to eye
But I know I'm not ready
Was my anxiety always this heavy?
I needed more time, I didn't want this
With my message, I thought you would dismiss
My hands are shaky and my breathing short
It's way too late for me to abort
We are nothing alike, two different people
My head feels like I climbed the tallest steeple
I can't put in the effort, not yet
I feel like I'm caught in the tightest net
We used to be so close, two peas in a pod
I know that I'm a stupid fraud
Because I made this mistake again
After what happened, you probably think me vain
Please, give me the time I desperately need
I hope you don't think I messaged out of greed
I need more time to let myself heal
I'm sorry I made such a big deal
You see, I sold my soul to the biggest devil
And I decided that with his power, we were no longer level
But there was no devil, just this blackness and evil
It was crawling around my head like a weevil
My hands shake as I write this
I know if I try now, I will be remiss
I want us to heal, just not right now
I want to fix this, I just don't know how
Perhaps one day, we will be fine
But right now, I crossed my own line
I can't yet and I'm so very sorry
The night I wrote you was starry
Please, let us give it a little longer
Give me a little more time to be stronger
I can't apologize to your friend
And I know that that is needed for us to mend
I'll be able to in the future, just a little more
Right now, I have myself battling a war
It's just me fighting myself
Perhaps it's best I'm put back on the shelf
I'm so broken, can you not see
It's been a while since I've been me
Longer than our fight, and our dismissal
What I did was abysmal
It's probably best of you stay away
This darkness on my shoulders is still grey
It's heavy and oh so very big
It is my grave to dig
I'm sorry that I sent what I did
Please, just be angry and with me you're rid
I don't want to hurt you, not again
Please, see through the guise and save your pain
YOU ARE READING
Poems And Quotes
PoesíaThis is a collection of poems and quotes from a time in a teenager's life when she thought she had nothing. In reality, the world had given her everything she had ever wanted; a family, a lover, a friend. She's no longer there, not anymore, but she...
