The Mental & The Lost

Chapter 25~Delilah's Turn

(A/N: UM....I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED WHILE WRITING BUT I THOUGHT THIS NEEDED TO HAPPEN....FEELS MAY OCCURE DURING THIS CHAPTER...........I AM TAKEN BACK BY WHAT EMOTIONS I MAY GET OUT OF YOU, THE READER. I JUST WANT TO BE A GOOD AUTHOR, AND GETTING EMOTIONS OUT OF THE READER IS A STEP TO DOING THAT. SO, UM, HERE YOU GO.)

Delilah's P.O.V.

As the girls and I get into a fancy limo, the boys are running after us. There are 3 'couches' I guess you could call them on each side of the limo. The girls and I sit on the opposite side of the boys, on our phones, not making any eye contact. "So girls, ready to move into the new hospital?" Ashton asks in an Australian accent. I look up, I am very surprised but I don't show it. The limo is filled with awkward silence. "Um-how about the weather?" Calum asks. "The windows are tinted, I can' tree the weather." Emilia hisses in reply. The boys are taken back at the comment. I smirk, now I know their weakness. "Ladies, what's wrong with you?" Michael asks. "Why are you talking to a Skank?" Corrine asks. "And a Whore?" Em adds. "And a Slutbag?" I finish. "Ooh, that. They are just jealous of you girls, because your with these sexy Aussie babes." I widen my eyes, as do the others. "Conceited much?" I lean forward as I speak. Ashton leans forward too. "No, indeed I am not. It's called a joke, learn to take one." I gasp. "Oh, you little-" "What? What could you possibly say to your loving boyfriend? I'm sure you wouldn't cuss at me so bring it." "Bastard." I finish. He is breathless, the girls gasp, and the boys' mouths are an 'o' shape. I lean back and wait for his comeback. Then it hits me-. What the hell have I done? His eyes start to tear up.
(A/N: SORRY TO DISTURB YOUR READING THERE, BUT IF YOU ARE CONFUSED BY WHY ASHTON IS SO HURT ABOUT THAT WORD ITS BECAUSE "BASTARD" MEANS A CHILD WITHOUT PARENTS. SO TECHNICALLY, DELILAH USED ASHTON'S PARENTS NOT BEING IN THE PICTURE AGAINST HIM. OKAY, CONTINUE READING!! THANKS! ALSO, RIGHT ABOUT NOW, PUT ON THE SONG 'YOU FOUND ME' BY THE FRAY)
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We have to stay in a hotel because we still have many hours till we get to the Mental Hospital. I am to stay in a room with Ashton.

The silence is deafening. The guilt has been eating me since I said that word, which I totally regret. I have wanted to apologize ever since we were in the limo, but the tension wouldn't let me. I grab some pajama's from one of my suitcases plus something else, and go to the bathroom, and I lock the door. I get dressed and look at what else I brought...a razor. Has the guilt really brought me to this? I look in the mirror, I can see all of the guilt behind my eyes, it is very noticeable. I pick up the razor and sit on the closed toilet seat and hold it to my wrist.............

'no'. My subconscious says. I throw the razor at the door, I can't do it over something like this...though I need to. 'You could just apologize and explain why you said all of that.' Subconscious again. Then I hear a little voice, 'Or, you could cut and let some of the guilt out.' I shake it out of my head. The voices come back and get louder and louder. My vision gets blurry and my head is spinning. I put my hands on my ears to try to cover the voices that sound like they are all around me. I have noticed that I am crying, my hands are shaking as I reach for the door nob. I try to open it, I forget it's locked. I look back at the razor that is on the ground, and the voices get so loud that I fall to my knees. 'WHY?!' I scream in my head. Finally, I managed to open the door and slam it closed. I can't see anything clearly so I am not aware that Ashton is looking at me, I just feel eyes on me. 'Get back in there and cut!' One voice keeps repeating. 'You hurt your boyfriend, you bitch.' Another. 'You are just a disgrace.' 'Kill yourself!' 'No one loves you!' 'Ashton is just messing with you!' 'You are such a slutbag!' 'You can't speak to anyone without being an attention seeker!' I couldn't take it anymore! "STOP!! NO!! I WON'T!! I CAN'T!! GO AWAY!" I scream out loud. My vision starts to close in and it's like I am in a tunnel. I shut my eyes tightly and keep screaming at the voices. I open my eyes and see a dark abyss.

I start to shake, and I'm not causing it. I try to fight my way to gain my vision back and I do for at least a second and I see Ashton's eyes filled with terror and worry, I also saw-I think it was Corrine- open the door. The voices start to get louder and louder and I notice I am screaming over them. My hearing went silent from the voices and I heard Ashton say, "Baby! I'm here! Please stop!" Then the voices got loud again. "Ashton! Help me!" I gasp out. He shakes me again and grabs my hand forcefully. "I'm sorry Ashton! I didn't mean what I said!" My breath hitches as everything goes silent. My vision clears up though is still blurry, and I can see Ashton crying. "Delilah, it's okay! Please, come back to me!" Corrine is looking through my stuff and gets a rag. Why a rag? I start to calm down and look at Ashton. "Ash." He stares at me. I stop crying and my hearing comes back to normal. I look down.....I was cutting. I drop the razor. That wasn't the reason the voices stopped, was it because I apologized and let my anger out?

Corrine wraps my wrists in goss that she apparently managed to find. Corrine hugs me. "Corrine, thank you." Ash and I say. She smiles, "Your welcome. Em actually found the goss, I was just going to use a rag." I look over at Em who was crying and shaking while putting the First-Aid Kit away. "Thank you both. I'm sorry, the voices came back." The girls nod understandingly. "Anytime, now get some rest. See you both in the morning." Corrine says waving good bye, as does Em. I smile then look at Ashton.

"And thank you, Ashton. I needed to apologize to you, but the voices were saying to cut, I tried to win. I tried to get away from the voices and they wouldn't go away. I am so sorry Ashton, I didn't mean what I said in the limo. I was just hurt and I didn't know how to control my anger, I need my bipolar medicine." He just smiled, put his hand on the side of my head and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry for testing you that hard into saying that. And I forgive you. Let's just not fight like that again. Okay?" I nod. I kiss his lips lightly, loving-like and calming. We break away and he carries me to the bed and I look over to where I was on the ground, surprisingly, there was no blood anywhere. Where did it-I look down. Oh yeah, on me. I was about to say something to Ashton but he already got me some new pajamas. "I love you, I hope you know that." "I love you too, Baby." I changed in front of him, and he didn't do anything seducivly. He just patiently waited and then told me to hand him the bloody pj's. I get in bed and he turns to me.

"The guilt is about to get to me too, so I must say it. I'm in a band, I'm from Sydney. My past and everything about me is the truth, I'm not going to lie about that but I do have something to say........"

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HAHA CLIFFHANGER!!