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c & c - infinity 🍽 🦋

TW: EATING DISORDERS!!! 🦋 🍽

She sat in the shower, tears in her eyes. Her chest was tight, and it was hard for her to breathe. Why was she so effected by nothing? She was supposed to have D'Amelio privilege, wasn't she? Yet in contrast to the thousands who say they have it better off, the image of her here, just her, pure, natural, human, proved different. Her head tilted backwards onto the shower wall, the burning hot water stinging her skin as she rocked back and forth.

Although she didn't want to admit it, Dixie moving out had affected her. Sure, she turned to her mom and dad for comfort, but not having Dixie to turn to when she needed someone to understand was straining her health. And it wasn't like she could just drive over there at any time either, she didn't have her license, and Dixie was almost always with Noah. She was happy that her older sister had finally found someone who made her happy, but she couldn't help but feel jealous.

There was a knock at the door and Charli let out a hum in response. "You okay in there, sweetheart? You've spent longer in there than usual," her mom asked.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine," she responded, her voice wavering slightly as she bit back a sob.

"Okay, well I put dinner on a tray on your bed for you. If you want to join me and your dad, you can do that too if you're comfortable."

Sighing, she stood and turned the water off. She shivered at the loss of the burning water hitting her skin. Standing at the mirror, her hands ran across her raw body, tracing over her stomach as she looked at herself with tears in her eyes. After dressing into shorts and an oversized shirt, she stumbled back into her bed she had occupied for the past day and a half with little to no motivation. Her phone was halfway across the room and she'd not checked her notifications in days. It was so painful to move. Whether it was the absence and inability to comprehend her emotions, or the presence of the stinging skin, it made it almost impossible to get out of bed.

She lifted the tray over her body and placed it on the floor. She didn't need the food anyway; she'd just flush it down the toilet later instead. The ceiling had become comforting over the last few days, and she had studied it from back to front and over again as she ran through situations in her head.

There was a soft rap on the door and Charli sighed. Expecting one of her parents, she answered, "I'm fine, you don't need to worry."

The door cracked open slightly and his voice echoed through softly. "Except, unlike your parents, I don't believe you."

Her heart skipped a beat. She'd know that voice anywhere. Chase. Tears filled her eyes again at the thought that he'd actually been thinking about her. He actually cared. She sniffed subconsciously, and he slowly pushed himself into her messy room.

Not focusing on anything except her and the state she was in, he strode forward and slipped under the covers, pulling her gently towards himself. She cried into his chest. As her sobs subsided, she slowly rolled back over to face away from him.

"Hey," he whispered, rubbing a hand across her back. "I know you're not okay, and I know that it'll help to talk to someone, so I'm just gonna lay here until you tell me to leave."

It was a while before she rolled back over, her face pale and blotchy, yet Chase still looked at her as if she were his entire world. Pulling her back into his chest, he kissed her forehead and they held each other close. "Have you eaten today?"

The words came from no prompt, and Charli's chest tightened. She shook her head. "It's on the floor. I couldn't bear to look at it?"

He pulled slightly away from her, tipping her chin up in an attempt to regain eye contact, but he couldn't hold her gaze. "What do you say we have a few bites together?"

She sighed, squeezing her eyes shut. "Okay," she whispered, leaning over to pick up the tray of steak and vegetables. Placing it between them, Chase leant forward to brush the straggling hairs from out of her face.

"However much you eat, now, tomorrow, the entire future, just know that I'll always be proud of you, and you'll always be beautiful to me," he said as he passed her the fork. "We ready?"

She nodded slowly, and he picked up the first piece of steak, gesturing for her to stab another. She hesitated but reached forward to pick the meat up on the utensil. Bringing it to her mouth, they both began to eat. Slowly, yes, but successfully. After swallowing their first piece, they silently made their way through three pieces each before Charli stopped.

He put the tray on the floor and laced his fingers into hers. Her palms were pressed into his and he remembered just how small her hands were; he could quite easily wrap his fingers around her entire hand. There were no awkward silence, no second thoughts, no worries of what they were doing — only him and her and their hands fitting together like they were always meant to.

"I don't think I'll ever find the right words to be able to describe how much I'm in love with you," he whispered, his icy blues staring into her chocolate browns, and she smiled at him with thousands of unspoken words behind her warm eyes.

And with that she leant forward to kiss him. He responded with such enthusiasm that she was taken aback at first but regained his composure and reminded himself of what was happening; he was really kissing her, she was really kissing him, and the world around them was meaningless.

Charli smiled into the kiss. Nothing could have more beauty than this moment. Her hands moved to circle around his neck, pulling him closer as his wrapped around her waist. She fit into him like a glove, her kiss like the beating of a butterfly's wings, soft until it became addictive. It was the crackling warmth of a bonfire on a cold winter night. It was the pattern the rain drove onto the roof in a rainstorm. It was a strike of lightning seen on a beach at sunset.

He had fallen, and she was falling again. Fast. She craved his scent, needing to feel him close to her, unsure where she ended, and he began.

He had never been more grateful to have life until now. He would have rather walked into hell again and again than lose this. Her eyes that held truths that didn't need to be spoken, her captivating smile against his lips, her laugh when he did something stupid, the way her hair fell over her shoulder when she looked at him.

Their lungs had to find air, and they separated. She ran her fingers through his hair, and his eyes closed at her touch.

She was radiating an inviting warmth, and all he wanted to do was kiss her again, but it would have come off as obsessive. Heat rose to his face. "I- I'm sorry... I-"

"Don't break my heart for a third time, Hudson" she said softly, watching his every movement. "Please don't walk out on me because I don't think I'd eve-"

She stopped speaking as his lips enclosed on hers. Their kisses were soft yet strong, gentle yet powerful all the same. All there was, was the two of them, her vanilla and lavender mixed with his pine and sea salt.