Writings of Expression

Scarred

My whole life, I've been earning scars.
I met you and I had some good times.
I never once got a scar from you, friend,
But I gave you one as thanks instead.

I was covered in scars when we split,
But now my skin is nothing but scars.
I hide them because I'm ashamed of me.
Hardly anyone sticks around since then.

You were the angel I was sent to cherish,
But instead I took advantage of your gifts.
I was too selfish to see what I was doing,
But now I can see it so clearly it scars me.

I was once flippant and care free with words.
You taught me to think carefully with them.
I might have learned it late, but I learned.
You gave me no scars, but maybe you should've.

Maybe then I wouldn't be so hesitant
When I meet new people who care.
You taught me a lesson without a scar,
But maybe the only way I learn is scars.

I keep trying to shut out your kind words,
But I can never win because they echo.
I hear them from even strangers now.
How I'm not trash to be used and discarded.

I should have listened to you then.
I guess it's too late now though,
Cause you aren't here to stop me
From getting to the very edge.

I'm stuck on the edge with the echoes,
When I would have leapt already.
Your words echo all around me now
As I gaze into the void that awaits me.

Haunting are the words that you spoke.
Needed are the messages I've ignored
That are contained so clearly inside
The honest and heartfelt words you said.

Hard to see when anyone cares for me,
But your words make it all too clear.
You care about me, and you always will.
I just ask that you don't give up on me.

I wanna back down from that edge,
But I'm so hooked on it's mysteries.
I try to picture your caring looks,
But all I can see now is disappointment.

You're disappointed in my choices,
But I'm still so stuck in being bad.
You're gone from my life right now,
But your words still keep me sane.

I'm still sane but I'm covered in scars.
I hurt you bad and that led to now.
All I can do is ask forgiveness now,
And just force my feet to move on.

I'm headed for the stars for you,
Not for myself like I should be.
I just want you to know I'm sorry,
But I know my words mean nothing.

Let me prove myself with actions,
And you can see if I changed or not.
You are my judge, my jury, and hope.
Just don't abandon me like everyone else.