My Wattpad life

Chapter Twenty Six

Wattpad didn't seem all that exciting anymore.

My mother has taken a break from work to morn her sister and get her feeling in order.

She had barely touched dinner yesterday and this almost made me burst into tears.

I had cried myself to sleep last night just thinking about Aunt Aviva.

I wanted to forget her so badly. To forget her goofy nature, her yellow hair and her bright smile.

But that has only made me cry harder because it reminded me that I was trying to forget because she was gone.

There would be no new memories.

None at all.

Instead, I decided to remember the good times as hard as it seemed at first.

I thought about how she got me to over come my fear of chickens by telling me that they were scared of me.

When, I was ten, she had told me that I was like a giant to them. A great conqueror who could destroy them in a flash if they crossed my path.

And I had believed her

I had so much fun running around my grandmother's backyard with her, chasing them around.

We hadn't been too close, but from the time I had spent with her I knew she was special.

I sighed logging into Wattpad to seek a distraction from my present day situation.

I ignored the announcements looking out for book updates. I was about to read the latest Chapter of caving in When I found out that A user has left a message on my board.

Hi,
I'm a preacher from G.L.O.W ministry. Would you like to check is out?

Jesus loves you
G.L.O.W.

A ministry huh? That sounds like exactly what I need right now.

I smiled sadly glad that there were actually ministries on Wattpad

I typed,
You couldn't have asked at a better time :-)
I would love to check it out.

I tapped on the profile picture which was a glowing fire torch and another page reloaded.

It has been in Wattpad for two years. It had a bunch of books like bible verses for all, praise songs for you, Sunday posts.

Finally I found a book title, when you feel lost.

I tapped it and began to read. Hoping a find a lasting solution to the growing pain in my chest.

After the writer, strawberry-sweetheart had introduced herself, she began to list ways in which you could find your way to happiness again.

The first chapter was on prayer. To be honest, I felt like skipping it because I was a bit mad at God.

Ok, that was an understatement.

I was VERY angry with God.

I took a deep breath when a voice inside my head told me to read it anyway.

The writer talked form the perspective of someone who had actually lost someone before. I could relate so well to the examples she gave knowing that I felt the same way right now.

She wrote that everything happened for a reason. God might be using a situation you are facing to toughen you up and teach you A lesson.

Don't be the lazy back bencher, who sits at the back talking instead of trying to learn.

Be the zealous student because you know that you have know choice but to trust God.

He's the only one who truly knows what he's doing. Who will never let you down.

Pray to him, for he hears you (1Peter 5:7)

I got down on my knees and put my elbows on my bed. The house was quiet, that was unusual quiet so nothing could stop me from praying.

I covered my face with my palms and decided to tell God everything. From joining Wattpad to doubting my self and eventually loosing everything.

I then asked him to help everyone around me with the pain that they were feeling right now. From the looks of things, my mother had probably already lost the will to live.

I also prayed for myself. I asked God to make me strong and kind so that I could help my family and make things better.

After praying for a while, I decided to read the next Chapter of the book.

It was centred around letting go.

Letting go isn't only about trying to get over loss it's also about forgiving the living and fixing your relationships.

I knew what I had to do.

***

I knocked gently on the door to Tayo's room and waited, praying that he would let me in.

He was playing scars come with living with his speakers and I could hear him singing along.

You, you're not alone we've all been there
Scars come with living
You, you're not alone, you're not alone.
So lift your hands up to where your help comes from
Lift your hands up
Oh, sacrs come with living.

"Niyi, is that you?" he asked surprise in his voice.

Was I normally too stubborn to apologise?

I sighed "Yes, can I come in"

"Of course"

I opened the door and after I had walked in, I closed it quietly behind me.

He was sitting on his bed which was at the side of his room. He had a  book shelf filled with comics on the other side, a bathroom like mine had close to it and a painting stand and canvas in the middle.

My brother loved art while I was more in the pharmacy side.

I say down beside him on the bed.

"I'm sorry about what I said about you wasting your life away" I sighed staring at my legs "It was rude and uncalled for and you were probably going through a tough time too. I should have been more patient"

Tayo stared at me for a while with a look I couldn't describe. I was beginning to think that I had said the wrong thing when he spoke up.

"I'm seventeen" He said running a hand through his black hair " And I should know better than to act like a child, I'm sorry I pushed your buttons "

"Don't say that" I frowned "You're more fun when you're annoying"

"Then what's wrong Niyi" He asked burrowing his brows "Usually you just ignore me, why did you lash out"

I bit my lip. So he had noticed my strange behaviour.

"You're sure you want to know?" I asked .

"Very sure" He said with a nod.

I told him about everything that has happened since I joined Wattpad.

The pressure attached to being a writer, my right with my best friends, my agonising school work"

Everything.

"Wow' He said giving me an incredulous look "That's a lot to handle"

" I know right " I said staring at my lap.

"But you're going to fix all this" He raised an eyebrow "right?"

" Yes" I smiled "I've put it off for long enough"

"Remember, I'll be here if you need any help" He grinned.

"Thanks Tayo, that's means a lot"