The Heart-Mind-Ink Axis

20201028 - #1 [NOT PUBLISHED ON INSTA]

CURRENTLY NOT POSTED ON INSTAGRAM

I DON'T PLAN TO... AT LEAST... NOT ATM....

To everyone who has ever judged me over calling myself a fan of something...
I never sought out attention, I was pretty scared of it
I'm more of a hibernator than a circus artist
I didn't even go out searching for a troop
Took a route that I loved and so I go ahead and star it
Yes I've met handful that have been a total treasure
That doesn't mean I'll go overboard when it came down to my choices
There are things everyone likes
Quite a few that overlap
But I  know I'm sane
They did, do and will always help me
Maybe I could even pick someone and put them at number one
But even if they change my life
I'm one of many others
I know it and respect it
'Cause that's their thing and power
And I stand by most of my choices
Even past aeons and hey
Trust me when I say
No life is ever same
Some just happen to force you down more darkness
Sometimes I liked it there too
Mostly out of believing there was no way out
But there was a part that craved an escape
I did - someone else inspired that
They became my number one
The last number one lost nothing
Provided enough lessons and experience
When I lean to my number one now
It's because they deserve it
And yes no one needed to know
I could've swallowed it whole
Kept it to myself
Knowing I'm a fan
Not just of my number one
Because when you number it
There's got to be a list
Nonetheless I said it
I see differences
To each their own
My number one isn't mainstream
Not dripping overrated
Actually very underrated
But I don't mind
Many others on the list are very darn popular
I'll probably be a laughing stock
As soon as you see the mess
Mainly because you can not see
Why your number ones hit really low on my list
I sound over 20 but I'm not even 18
I'll probably sound even older then
Maybe just a thought
But I prefer it that way
Maybe it's perfect to not just have a number one
And put everyone else at zero
Maybe it's time I said this out
So that people, even older than me
Can quit toxic devotion
But alas
My documents back up my young age
I'm too scared of making this heard
I'll get branded a delinquent
And I'll probably end up reverting to the shadows
Maybe if I burn this to nothing
The universe will feel it.
Pen down
Paper in shreds
A bowl of water
And of course
A box of matches
And don't forget to open the windows.

This is the only post here that so far hasn't been posted on my Instagram account.

I don't even have plans to share this to many people...

I've always wanted to be honest tho... but ik... there are even people I know... who happen to either be judgemental or unable to draw the lines for their own selves...

It's not about Instagram's character limit...

Might try, but it's obvious looking controversial...

To MOST.

I'm only going to mention a few people here... because I know I might not share the link outside...

Appu29301 jikxok SehunBaekhyun4 Wolflight_Coder chicken_little_101

And if I do end up posting it on Instagram... it will probably be as more of a paragraph than a slam poem like this^

People actually think I'm a fan acc there :") not actually...

Just staying free of judgement there... and also being anonymous :3

And maybe say something personal but ppl wouldn't know it was outta experience...

Just like here...