Yasak - Forbidden (A Goktug Alp/Kongar Love Story)

Chapter 37

A/N: Early update y'all cuz I'll be gone for abt a week+ because of studies and stuff...I hope you all enjoy this chapter 

Goktug was immediately sent to the caged tent by the order of Gunduz Bey, where he sat alone for hours since Melike returned to the tribe. No one had come to see him or speak to him, and he was not only getting worried, impatient and concerned, but he was feeling lonely and extremely guilty. As no one was watching, he let himself break down quietly to himself, his tears running rivers down his face into his tangled beard. "Allah, what have I done?" he murmured countless times, pressing his palm to his head in anguish. He knew that the Kayis saw everything that happened as his fault; he saw it through Gunduz Bey, Bamsi Bey, Dundar Bey and Hazal Hatun's eyes when they saw him returning to the tribe. He saw it in the eyes of the other Alps, and the tribespeople. They blamed him for Konur's injuries, and for Melike's incident- and frankly, he agreed with them. To him, it was his fault, despite knowing that he was under a drug, a spell. He didn't even have the strength to get angry at himself and throw a tantrum, and the wounds and bruises he had gotten from when Balgay had tortured him was stinging his body. As if his physical pain wasn't enough, his mind put him through hell.

His memories, both big and small, from when a demonic Kongar had taken over his mind and consciousness weren't wiped from his brain the way Kongar was, and they continued to replay themselves in his mind constantly. He could almost feel his sword in his hand when he remembered thrusting it into Konur's stomach, and he felt as if he himself were the one that was stabbed each time the memory played itself in his mind. He remembered going to the tribe and seeing Melike, and telling her that she was dead, because that was how she was in his mind. His heart clenched, wondering how she must've felt- did he hurt her feelings, again? He was almost positive that he did. He hoped and prayed that Melike would wake up, knowing that if she died, his whole world would wither away with her...just like it did once before, when Sofia had told him that she had killed her. "Allah...please save her, I can't lose her...not again," he whispered, a tear running down his cheek.

Suddenly, the door of the tent opened and Goktug stood up, and saw Boran walk in. "Selam Aleykum," he greeted. "Aleykum Selam," Goktug greeted back, and Boran wrapped his arms around his friend in a hug. Goktug hugged him back, glad that they did not have any rough feelings between them, despite all that had happened. "How are you feeling?" asked Boran. "Tired, guilty, pained...but Alhamdulillah, I'm still standing," said Goktug bravely, with a forced chuckle. Boran smiled at him. "It's alright, Goktug," he said, placing his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Remember, none of this is your fault." "How is it not?" asked Goktug. "I was the one who did this...I sent your tribe into the fire. It's written over everyone's faces, Boran. They all believe I am to blame." "Well I think they're wrong," said Boran firmly. "And so does Konur. We know the truth, Goktug. You didn't mean for any of this to happen, we sent you into the lion's den at yours and our own risk, and you were caught, as people do get caught. We didn't expect what came next to happen." Goktug sighed, and they heard Ayaz Alp calling from outside.

"Boran kardas, Gunduz Bey and Osman Bey want to see Goktug."

Goktug gulped. "Everything will be alright, Goktug, don't worry," said Boran reassuringly. "Osman Bey won't let anything happen to you." "Maybe I deserve whatever punishment I will be getting," murmured Goktug. "I should've been more careful. It is my fault after all, I suppose." "Goktug, please do not despair yourself like this," said Boran. "This is no time to pity yourself or mope about what has happened, because it has happened and I know that it is not your fault. Osman Bey believes in you too, and even if he is angry about what happened I doubt he blames you." Goktug looked at the ground for a while, and back at his friend. "You're not angry with me for what happened to Melike?" he asked in a small voice. "Of course not," said Boran. "Melike is injured gravely, but that wasn't your doing. It was all Balgay and Sofia's." Goktug nodded, before they heard Ayaz calling out to them again. "Come on, Brother," said Boran. "Let's go see Gunduz Bey and Osman Bey."